


A Sort of Fairytale

by geri_chan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friendship, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 00:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3189191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geri_chan/pseuds/geri_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius falls through the Veil, is greeted by Death, and is told that he has unfinished business to complete regarding Remus and Severus.</p><p>Written for the <a href="http://asylums.insanejournal.com/lupin_snape/94796.html">Trading Places challenge</a> on the lupin_snape comm. Originally archived on Ink Stained Fingers on 03/21/08.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Canon compliant up to HBP, more or less, but I made up my own ending to the series, although I borrowed a few crucial elements from DH. I borrowed the character Death from Neil Gaiman's Sandman series. (And I borrowed the concept of the Waiting Room limbo from my own story [The Revenant](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3155435).) You don't need to be familiar with the Sandman comics/graphic novels in order to follow this story, although I've thrown in a few little in-jokes for Gaiman fans.

"Come on, Bellatrix, you can do better than that!" Sirius taunted.

He should have known better than to open his big mouth, because a moment later, his crazy bitch cousin hit him squarely in the chest with a spell that would probably have killed him even if he hadn't fallen through the Veil. But even if it had only been "Expelliarmus," it wouldn't have mattered. Sirius didn't know much about the Veil, but he knew that anyone who went through it never came back.

Damn, Moony was going to kill him for being such a reckless idiot! Well, if he hadn't already been dead, that is.

Sirius didn't feel very dead, though, as he was swallowed up by darkness and fell screaming for what seemed like an eternity until he hit the ground with a painful thud.

 _I didn't think that being dead was supposed to hurt_ , Sirius thought, somewhat disgruntledly. Dying maybe, not actually being dead. Even Nearly Headless Nick didn't seem to suffer any pain from his nearly severed head, although he complained bitterly about the psychological trauma of being excluded from the Headless Hunt.

Sirius got to his feet and looked around, discovering that he was lying in a hallway lined with portraits, not unlike the one in his family home at Grimmauld Place. He braced himself, waiting for the portraits to start screaming at him, but they remained silent. Cautiously, he took a closer look at them: one was of a man in a hooded robe holding a large book; another showed an androgynously beautiful person of indeterminate gender; a third showed what looked like an extremely depressed sumo wrestler; and yet another portrayed an equally gloomy-looking but much more thin and fashionable young man clad in black, who looked like he ought to be hanging out a Muggle goth music club--or maybe at a Weird Sisters concert. There were a couple of other portraits on the wall, but before Sirius could get a good look at them, he was distracted by the sudden appearance of a young woman.

She was several inches shorter than him, with white skin and shoulder-length black hair, and looked to be somewhere in her late teens or early twenties. She was wearing a black tank top and jeans, and a silver ankh around her neck. Her eyes were heavily outlined with kohl, with a curling black spiral extending below her right eye. Sirius frowned, trying to recall why that should look familiar, then realized that it was the Eye of Horus, an Egyptian magical symbol of protection, with her own eye incorporated into the design. He had heard stories about wizards and witches who tattooed or painted magical runes on their bodies, but had never seen such a thing in person before.

"Who are you?" Sirius asked, wondering if she was another unfortunate soul who had fallen through the Veil on a previous occasion.

The girl cocked her head to one side and a faint smile of amusement curved her lips. "That's a rather odd and somewhat rude question to ask, considering that you're the one who dropped uninvited into _my_ home. But then, I suppose that I shouldn't expect politeness from you, Sirius Black."

"How do you know my--?" Sirius demanded, then gazed directly into her dark eyes and cut off the rest of his sentence with a strangled gasp. Although her face was youthful, her eyes seemed to contain infinite wisdom and sorrow and compassion. They were not the eyes of a teenage girl, but the eyes of an ancient being--not merely someone old and wise like Dumbledore, but a goddess or immortal spirit.

"Well, it's not exactly every day that people leap into my realm," Death--for that was surely who the girl was--said with a mischievous grin. "In fact, most of them are downright reluctant to enter it."

"I didn't leap, I was pushed," Sirius said defensively. "I'm not suicidal, I'll have you know."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Death retorted. "With the way you tend to rush headlong into danger without thinking, it's something of a miracle that I haven't seen you before this, Sirius."

"So...you know who I am?" Sirius asked hesitantly, wondering whether he should be flattered or terrified that he had come to the notice of Death herself.

"I see all and know all," Death intoned dramatically, then ruined the effect by giggling like the teenage girl she appeared to be. "Actually, that's more the realm of my older brother, but yes, I know who you are, Sirius."

She smirked at him again, and Sirius began to feel a little annoyed in spite of his fear. The way she had lectured him about his recklessness reminded him of Molly Weasley--and did he have to get scolded even after he was dead, for Merlin's sake? And anyway, it just didn't seem right that Death should turn out to be a perky little goth girl.

"You're not exactly what I was expecting," Sirius said sullenly. "I thought you'd be...you know, a guy in black robes carrying a scythe, maybe riding a Thestral..."

"That's what everyone says," Death complained, rolling her eyes. "It's so sexist! Why doesn't it ever occur to anyone that Death might be a woman?"

"Maybe because women are associated with life," Sirius suggested, finding it rather surreal that he was having a philosophical debate with Death. "Because they give birth and all that."

"Ah, but life and death are flip sides of the same coin," Death replied. "There can be no life without death, and vice versa."

"Yeah, fine," Sirius said, beginning to lose interest in the debate. He had never been much for philosophy, and he was much more interested in what was going to happen to him now that he was dead. "I apologize for jumping to a sexist conclusion. So what happens next? Do you take me up to Heaven where I sit on a cloud and strum on a harp, or will the guys with the pointy horns and pitchforks come to take me away?"

He laughed nervously, wondering if his second guess was closer to the mark than he would have liked. He hadn't exactly been an angel in life, but surely he hadn't done anything bad enough to warrant going to Hell...had he? Okay, he'd nearly gotten Snivellus killed, but that had been an accident. He hadn't meant to hurt the greasy git; he'd only wanted to scare him. But he kept seeing Snape's angry and frightened eyes in his mind, along with the look of hurt and betrayal on Moony's face. And then he remembered how he had gotten James and Lily killed by convincing them to make Peter their secret keeper. He hadn't meant to hurt them, either, but they were dead all the same. If they met in the afterlife, would they embrace him as an old friend, or would they stare at him accusingly and demand, "Why did you kill us, Sirius? Why did you take us away from Harry?"

"Well, actually, we have a bit of a problem here," Death said, frowning.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

"What I mean is that you died before your time," Death replied. "You weren't supposed to fall through the Veil."

"Does that mean I can go back?" Sirius asked eagerly, but that brief flare of hope died when Death shook her head sadly.

"No, dead is dead, I'm afraid," she said with a sigh. "Once you cross the Veil--even in such an unconventional manner--you cannot be restored to life."

"Then what happens now?" Sirius asked anxiously.

"The real problem isn't so much that you died before your time," Death answered, frowning again. "It's that you died leaving behind unfinished business."

"You mean Harry?" Sirius asked, his fear returning twofold at the thought of his godson. "Will something happen to him if I'm not there to protect him?"

"No, Harry must confront Voldemort alone in the end," Death replied. "Neither you nor Dumbledore nor anyone else can protect him from that. I'm talking about Remus."

"What about Remus?" Sirius asked, puzzled. He knew that his old friend would miss him, but he'd stay strong for Harry's sake. And his death would even benefit Moony, in a way--he'd left Grimmauld Place to Harry in his will, but he'd also left a sizable bequest of gold to Remus. His friend had always been reluctant to accept what he regarded as charity, but he would have to honor Sirius's last wishes, and he would no longer have to live in poverty. Sirius felt some satisfaction about that, even if he didn't want to be dead.

"More specifically, Remus and Severus," Death clarified.

"What about Snivellus?" Sirius asked harshly, because he had a suspicion about where she was going with this.

"Remus and _Severus_ are lifemates," Death said, pointedly stressing Snape's given name. "However, you split them apart with your stupid prank, subjecting them both to a considerable amount of pain and suffering."

"So Moony had a crush on Snivellus when he was a kid," Sirius shot back, not really caring that he was arguing with Death. After all, he was already dead; what more could she do to him? "Big deal; he's better off without the greasy git, anyway."

"And has he had any lovers since then, any girlfriends or boyfriends?" Death demanded. "Or even any one-night-stands?"

"Not right now," Sirius admitted reluctantly. "Though I don't know what he did while I was in Azkaban."

"Well, let me inform you now: he hasn't," Death said sternly. "And neither has Severus."

"Well, Remus has always been paranoid about his furry condition," Sirius said sullenly. "Ever since that incident with Snape, he's refused to get involved with anyone without telling them the truth about himself first, but he's afraid to tell anyone because he's convinced that no one would ever love a werewolf. As for Snape, I'm not surprised to hear that he's celibate." Sirius sneered. "Who would ever want to touch a greasy bastard like that, anyway?"

"Remus would," Death pointed out in a cold voice, and Sirius scowled at her. "This isn't about a childhood crush, Sirius! The two of them are lifemates--that's something completely different from two normal people who fall in love and may or may not stay together." He stared at her uncomprehendingly, and she spoke loudly and slowly, as if speaking to a very dimwitted child. "It means that they share a spiritual connection. It's very rare, but sometimes two people are born who are simply meant for each other. The Japanese have a legend that explains it best: they say that two people who are destined to be lovers are bound together by a red cord. There is a sort of invisible cord binding Remus's and Severus's souls together, but it has been torn and frayed by your meddling. Being apart from one's lifemate causes intense psychological and spiritual suffering, which both of them have endured for the better part of two decades."

"I thought things like that only existed in fairy tales!" Sirius protested.

"Oh?" Death asked archly, raising an eyebrow. "And I suppose that you know better than I, Death of the Endless, who has existed for countless millennia, since the first living creature came into being? Of course if the great Sirius Black has never heard of something, it cannot possibly exist."

Sirius glared at her. She sounded just as sarcastic as greasy old Snivellus himself; no wonder she was taking his side! "Fine," he conceded sulkily. "I concede that you probably know--"

"'Probably'?" Death interrupted indignantly.

"Fine!" Sirius repeated, in a more exasperated tone this time. "No doubt you know more than I, a mere mortal. But how do I know that you're telling the truth about this lifemates thing? I've read mythology; I know that even the gods can lie sometimes."

"You'll just have to trust me," Death said sweetly.

"I don't trust you," Sirius said bluntly. "But just for the sake of argument, let's say that I believe you. Can't this bond thing be broken to free Moony from the greasy git?"

"No!" Death exclaimed, looking horrified. "I keep telling you, a bond like that cannot be broken! And even if such a thing could be managed, it would most certainly kill them!"

Sirius shuddered at the thought of Remus dying. "So you're saying that he's stuck with Snape?" he asked plaintively.

"There are only two options open to him and Severus," Death replied in a firm voice. "To live together in blissful harmony, or to live apart in mutual misery. Neither of them can ever love another. It is possible for them to have sex with someone else, but they will never derive any satisfaction or pleasure out of it. Think of them as a single soul divided into two--they will never be complete without each other."

"And what do you expect me to do about it?" Sirius wanted to know. "Even if I wanted to help the two of them get together, which I don't, I can't do anything about it while I'm dead!"

"That's not necessarily true," Death purred, a satisfied smile spreading across her face like a cat eyeing a plump canary; Sirius felt uncomfortably like the canary. "I can allow you to go back to Earth as a sort of spirit."

"I don't want to be a ghost!" Sirius protested in horror. He had spoken to some of the Hogwarts ghosts while he was in school, and he knew that becoming a ghost bound one to a permanent half-life, neither fully alive nor fully dead.

"You won't have to become a ghost," Death said placatingly. "It will only be a temporary measure. Once you complete your mission, I will conduct you into the appropriate afterlife."

"And let me get this straight," Sirius said incredulously. "My mission is to get Remus and Snape back together, and make them into a happy couple?"

"Exactly," Death said pleasantly. "I'm so glad that we understand each other."

"No, we don't!" Sirius shouted. "I refuse to do it! I won't help Snivellus, of all people, hook up with my best friend!"

"Even if it means condemning Remus to a life of suffering?" Death demanded.

"I'm still not convinced that you're telling the truth about them being lifemates!" Sirius retorted. "And even if it were true, Moony would be better off alone than with Snape!"

"So you refuse to cooperate?" Death asked coldly.

"I do," Sirius said stubbornly.

Death crossed her arms over her chest and glared up at him, her dark eyes glowing with a cold, deadly anger, and a chill ran down Sirius's spine as he was suddenly reminded that he was arguing with a being who was essentially a goddess of death, and that maybe there were punishments she could inflict on him even though he was dead. Dumbledore had always said that there were worse things than death, after all, and maybe Sirius was about to find out whether that was true or not.

For a moment, his resolve faltered, but even with that ominous threat hanging over him, he still could not bring himself to play matchmaker for Snape and Remus--the very idea was ridiculous, for Merlin's sake! And he loathed that slimy Slytherin bastard; he wouldn't condescend to piss on Snape even if he was on fire, and he certainly wasn't going to hand over his sole remaining childhood friend to a former Death Eater with questionable hygiene and even more questionable loyalty.

"I won't help you," Sirius said quietly, in a less defiant manner. "So you might as well send me on to the afterlife, be it Heaven or Hell."

"Oh, you're not getting off that easy, my friend," Death said. A doorway suddenly opened up in the hallway, though none had been there before, and Death grabbed Sirius by the arm and pulled him through it.

He experienced another falling sensation, similar to that of falling through the Veil, but Death's grip on him provided a comforting anchor that kept him from panicking too much, even though he knew that rationally, he ought to find her more terrifying than comforting. But even so, it was better than being hurled into emptiness all alone.

And then the falling stopped, and Sirius found himself standing in a small room. There was a slightly shabby couch against one wall, and a coffee table in front of it, scattered with Muggle and wizarding magazines that ranged from several months to several years out of date. There was also a remote control on the coffee table, presumably for the television resting on a small stand on the opposite side of the room. It reminded him of the time he had accompanied James and Lily to her Muggle doctor's office when she had found out she was pregnant. Actually, it wasn't all that different from waiting rooms in the wizarding world, too, except for the television.

"What is this place?" Sirius demanded.

"It's exactly what it looks like," Death said smugly. "A waiting room."

"So Hell is waiting around in a doctor's office for eternity?" Sirius asked skeptically.

"This is Limbo, not Hell, you moron," Death snapped. "This is a place where souls stuck in transition between the world of the living and the world of the dead wait until they are ready to move on to the afterlife."

"I told you that I'm ready!" Sirius said crossly.

"And I told you that I won't take you to the afterlife until you complete your mission!" Death retorted. "So you can just sit here and cool your heels until you're ready to listen to reason!" And then she abruptly vanished, leaving Sirius alone in the waiting room.

Sirius sighed and sank down onto the couch; at least it was reasonably comfortable. Considering Death's attitude, he'd half expected it to be hard or lumpy or have springs poking out of it. He flipped through a few magazines, but he wasn't interested in reading out of date gossip in Witch Weekly. He had always taken a rebellious pleasure in reading Muggle magazines because it had annoyed his mother to no end, but to his disappointment, there were no magazines about automobiles or motorcycles or girls in bikinis, only boring magazines talking about Muggle politics or entertainment gossip or cooking and housecleaning tips.

Maybe the television would prove more interesting. Ever since Lily had introduced to him to what she called "the telly," he had been fascinated by it. The closest thing that the wizarding world had to it was moving photographs, but those displayed only short scenes with no sound. He had always thought that someday he'd like to invent a magical version of the telly, but first the war, and then Azkaban, had interfered with his plans.

He picked up the remote and turned the television on, and to his surprise, he saw Remus sitting at the kitchen table in the house at Grimmauld Place, head bowed and face lined with grief. Snape stood behind him regarding him with...surely that couldn't be a look of concern on his face! Snape hesitantly reached out, his hand hovering a few inches above Remus's shoulder, as if he was trying to work himself up to offering a comforting touch to his childhood enemy and alleged lifemate. Remus, with his back turned to Snape, didn't seem to notice.

But then the sound of voices and footsteps broke the silence, and Snape quickly jerked his hand back and retreated to a far corner of the room as Tonks and the Weasleys rushed in, offering Remus their sympathies. Snape quietly slipped out of the room as Molly and Tonks in particular fussed over Remus, who politely thanked them for their concern, but looked rather pained; he always hated people fussing over him like that. He glanced around distractedly as they told him how sorry they were, and his gaze turned wistful and then despairing when he did not find what--or who--he was looking for. Had he been looking for Snape?

"You're supposed to be mourning me, not looking around for that greasy bastard!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly, and shut the television off.  


***

Sirius had no idea how much time had passed in the waiting room. There were no windows, so he could not see if it was day or night outside--assuming that there was an outside to be seen, since Death had said this place was Limbo, not the real world. There was no clock on the wall to measure the passage of time, and he felt no need to eat or drink or even sleep, presumably because he was dead. He paced the room restlessly, and carefully searched each inch of the walls and floor for a hidden passage or door, but found none. Death had implied that there were other souls stuck in Limbo, too, so Sirius tried to communicate with them, shouting and pounding on the walls, but he never received any response.

Finally, he grew bored enough to turn the television back on. It kept showing him scenes of Remus and/or Snape, no matter what channel he switched to. So he saw his old friend infiltrating Greyback's pack, trying without much success to win the other werewolves over to the Order's side, growing ever more weary and gray and despairing. Meanwhile, Snape, the bloody bastard, made an Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa to help the Malfoy brat kill Dumbledore!

"I told you all along that he was a traitor!" Sirius shouted, half angrily, half triumphantly. Everyone had always brushed off his suspicions with platitudes like, "Well, Albus trusts him," even Moony. Especially Moony. He had always stuck up for the greasy git, even when they were in school, if only with a mumbled, "He's not really that bad," or "You shouldn't pick on him so much." More recently, ever since Sirius had returned from Azkaban, Remus had defended Snivellus more firmly, lecturing Sirius about how much Snape was doing for the Order, all the risks he was taking, and how grateful Remus was to him for continuing to brew the Wolfsbane Potion. For Merlin's sake, Remus had talked to him like he was still a teacher and Sirius was some ignorant, snot-nosed little first-year! And he had resented Snape all the more, for driving a wedge between himself and his sole remaining friend. Moony was supposed to stick up for him, dammit, not Snivellus! They were the Marauders, it was supposed to be one for all and all for one!

Except that Peter had betrayed them, and Sirius had unintentionally betrayed Lily and James by putting too much trust in Peter. And he had betrayed Remus by thinking that Remus was the traitor. He had known that his friend had never really gotten over the breakup with Snape, and he had thought that Remus might have gone over to Voldemort's side in an attempt to win him back.

He should have known better. Remus had always been much too self-sacrificing to ever put his own happiness ahead of someone else's well-being. Even now, Sirius's young cousin Tonks was showing a definite romantic interest in Remus, but he gently tried to deflect her flirtations, saying that he was flattered, but he was much too old and poor to be worthy of her.

"Don't be so stubborn, Moony," Sirius scolded his friend, although of course Remus could not hear him. He rather liked the idea of Moony getting together with Tonks; she and her mother Andromeda were the only relatives he had left that he could stand. And if Moony married Tonks, it would be like keeping him in the family, and Sirius could still sort of have a connection to him even though he was gone.

And of course, it would keep him out of the greasy git's clutches. Death simply had to be wrong about this lifemates thing! Remus would be happy with Tonks, if only he would give her a chance.

Death suddenly appeared in front of him, blocking his view of the television screen. "Well?" she asked expectantly. "Have you decided to be reasonable yet?"

"You're the one who's being unreasonable," Sirius argued. "Look--he and Tonks seem to be getting along pretty well. I think you're wrong about Snape being the only one for him."

Death turned to look at the television. "He seems to be turning down her advances," she pointed out dryly. "I'd hardly call that the beginning of a great romance."

"He's just being noble!" Sirius insisted. "He's worried that she'll be shunned for dating a werewolf, or that she'll regret being tied to a poor, older man someday."

Death snorted loudly, in a very derisive and unladylike manner. "He's not being noble; he's just too polite to tell her that she's been flinging herself at a gay man. Or maybe he just doesn't want all his friends and colleagues to know that he's gay."

"He's not gay!" Sirius protested.

"Come on!" Death said impatiently. "I know that you know he had a thing going with Severus back in school, even if you don't want to admit it. That's why you played your prank on Severus, right? You wanted to scare him away from Remus."

"It was for Moony's own good!" Sirius snapped. "That bastard would only have ended up hurting him--that's what I was trying to prove! Snape dumped him as soon as he found out he was a werewolf, right?"

"I think it was more because he thought Remus was in on your little prank," Death disagreed.

Sirius chose to ignore her. "And anyway, that doesn't make Remus gay! He was just...confused."

Death rolled her eyes in a most annoying fashion. "That's what people say when they're in denial. If it was just a bit of schoolboy experimentation, do you think that he'd still be pining over Severus twenty years later?"

Sirius said defensively, "Well, he used to talk about pretty girls with us back in school, so he can't be completely gay! Maybe he's, you know, bisexual--like Lucius Malfoy. He'd screw anything with two legs and a hole, placement optional. Uh...not that Remus is a disgusting pervert like Malfoy, of course."

"I think you're the disgusting one, Sirius," Death said in a--well, disgusted tone of voice. "Maybe Remus only pretended to notice pretty girls in order to fit in with the three of you--the way he pretended not to notice when you were bullying Severus."

"We were not bullies!" Sirius shouted. "'Bullying' implies that you're picking on someone helpless, and believe me, Snape was anything but helpless! He gave as good as he got--he knew more hexes as a first-year than most of the seventh-years!"

"I would consider three kids ganging up against one to be bullying," Death retorted. "Unless, of course, it took three of you to equal one of him?" As Sirius spluttered indignantly, Death smirked and added, "Well, I guess I'll give you some time to cool off and come to your senses. I hope you're enjoying those magazines." And then she vanished, leaving Sirius to shout and swear impotently at the empty room.  


***

With nothing better to do, Sirius returned to watching the television, but it became an increasingly frustrating experience. There was nothing he could do to affect the events being played out on the screen; no matter how much or how loudly he shouted, the people in the television never reacted to him or gave any sign that they were aware of his presence, not even when he pounded his fists on the screen.

He had thought he could at least use the television to watch over Harry, but it would only show him what Remus and Snape were doing, so he could only see Harry if he happened to be in their presence. Harry had very little contact with Remus, of course, since that bastard Snape had forced him to quit his job at Hogwarts.

Sirius ignored the faint prickling of his conscience that reminded him that it was partly his fault as well, since Remus would not have gone chasing after him and Wormtail, and would therefore not have forgotten to take his potion if he had gone straight to Dumbledore to plead his innocence and explain about spotting Wormtail-disguised-as-Scabbers in that photo in the Daily Prophet. That little voice in his head sounded a little too much like Death for comfort, and besides, what if Dumbledore hadn't believed him? Then he would have been sent back to Azkaban, maybe even given over to be Kissed by the Dementors, and Wormtail would have been free to carry out Voldemort's orders with no one at Hogwarts being the wiser. Sirius virtuously assured his conscience that he'd done what he had to do, and had protected Harry by exposing Wormtail. His conscience still seemed a little doubtful, but Sirius ignored it, and eventually it lapsed back into silence.

Harry did have regular classes with Snape, but it drove Sirius into a rage to see the greasy git insulting and bullying his godson--resulting in one of the incidents where he ended up pounding his fists on the television screen. He was afraid that he might break the machine, and he would be left with only the magazines to keep him occupied, so he tended to change the channel or turn off the television when Snape's DADA classes with Harry came on.

An odd thing happened one day when he changed the channel; it began showing him scenes from the past rather than the present--scenes from their schoolboy days at Hogwarts. In hindsight, he could see that Snape's main focus, as he followed them around obsessively, had never been on himself or James or Peter, but on Remus. It was Remus that Snape's eyes followed hungrily, and from this outside perspective, Sirius could see that Snape's face would contort with jealousy every time that Remus laughed at one of their jokes, or cheered for James as he competed on the Quidditch Pitch.

It was also obvious that Snape's obsession had not been entirely one-sided; he and Remus cast furtive, longing glances in each other's direction whenever they thought no one was looking, and Remus's guilt and discomfort when the other Marauders played their pranks on Snape was now much more obvious. The television screen seemed to zoom in for a close-up on his face during the pantsing incident by the lake, as if it were deliberately making a point for Sirius's benefit--and knowing Death, it probably was.

He also saw incidents he had never seen before, brief encounters where Remus and Snape happened to chance upon each other when neither the Marauders nor Snape's Slytherin crowd were around. In one scene, they both reached for the same book on the library shelf, and they both blushed and jumped back as their fingers brushed against each other. Then, since there was only one copy of the book, and they both needed it to study for a History of Magic exam, Remus diffidently suggested that they share it. Snape sneered, but gave in without an argument, and they sat together at a table in a secluded corner of the library, heads bent over the book, nearly close enough to touch. Remus smiled at Snape, and Snape automatically scowled, but when Remus kept smiling at him, eventually the scowl faded away, and Snape smiled hesitantly back at Remus.

After that, they continued to meet at the library to study, much more frequently than Sirius had ever realized, and one day, while they were leaning together over a book, Remus leaned over a little further and kissed Snape. The look of shock on Snape's face might have been amusing, if it had not been Sirius's best friend who had just kissed him.

"If this is some sort of joke that your idiot friends put you up to, I'll hex you right through the wall, Lupin," Snape said suspiciously.

Remus just smiled at him and said quietly, "It's no joke, Severus," and then he kissed Snape again.

This time, Snape kissed him back.

The two of them continued to meet in the library, or in empty classrooms, or behind the greenhouses, and Sirius would turn off the television whenever it looked like things might progress beyond snogging. He had no idea how far Remus had actually gone with the greasy git, and to be honest, he didn't really want to know, and he definitely didn't want to watch it.

Eventually it got to the point where Sirius-in-the-past began to notice that Remus was spending an awful lot of time around Snivellus and vice versa, and decided that he'd better do something about it before the greasy git did something to hurt Remus, whether by breaking his heart or some more nefarious plan he had in mind--what exactly, Sirius hadn't been sure, but someone so steeped in the Dark Arts and involved with Lucius Malfoy's toadies must certainly be up to no good.

"I only meant to scare him," Sirius said defensively to the television set and to Moony's look of betrayal when he confronted Sirius the day after the prank. "I wasn't trying to kill him. I thought he'd get a glimpse of the werewolf and then run. I thought he'd be too scared to ever come near us again." And through the television, Sirius had to listen once more to Dumbledore's blistering lecture, about how Snape could've been seriously injured or even killed, and how the Ministry would have punished Remus for that, even though it wasn't his fault. Sirius did feel guilty about the latter; he hadn't thought that far ahead at the time, hadn't considered what might happen to a werewolf who had killed or even just bitten a human.

Remus had refused to even speak to him for two whole weeks after that, no matter how much Sirius had tried to apologize, until James and Peter finally talked Remus into forgiving him. But Remus hadn't really forgiven him; he had remained skittish, always watching Sirius with hurt and wary eyes, like a dog who has been kicked and is waiting for the next blow to land. And eventually, Sirius had started to resent Remus for being unable to forgive him for one admittedly stupid mistake, and their mutual suspicion had eventually escalated--subtly helped along by Peter, Sirius now realized--until they both believed that the other had betrayed James and Lily.

This was a part of the past that Sirius did not want to relive, and he was about to turn the television off when Snape caught his eye on the screen, and he suddenly became aware of something he had not noticed before. When Snape was alone, with no one to observe him watching Lupin from a distance, the cold, arrogant mask on his face slipped, and was replaced with a look of hurt and betrayal, almost identical to the one that young-Remus regarded young-Sirius with. "I was a fool," Snape whispered bitterly and despairingly, in a nearly inaudible voice; Sirius had to crank the volume on the television up all the way to hear it. "I was a fool to think that someone like you could ever love someone like me."

Sirius hastily switched off the television. It almost seemed like Snape really had loved Remus, but that couldn't possibly be true...could it? Surely an evil, sneaky bastard like Snivellus wasn't capable of loving anyone, but somehow Sirius couldn't get the hurt look on Snape's face out of his mind. There had been no reason for him to feign such an expression with no one there to see it; Sirius would not have been able to see it without the aid of Death's magical (he assumed) telly.

It didn't really matter, Sirius told himself, trying to regain the moral upper ground. Even if Snape had loved Remus, he had falsely assumed that Remus was in on the prank, and had refused to believe him when he had protested that he hadn't known anything about it. Therefore, he wasn't worthy of Remus. Because if you really cared about someone, you'd have faith in them and stand by them no matter what.

 _The way that you stood by Moony when you told James and Lily not to make him their secret-keeper?_ Sirius's conscience whispered, and he squirmed with guilt, then flung the remote control across the room to vent his irritation. Okay, so he'd made a mistake back then, but surely he'd paid for that with his twelve year imprisonment in Azkaban. And he and Moony had finally been able to make up after Sirius had escaped from prison. They had apologized and forgiven each other, as good friends should. Snape still hadn't forgiven Remus even after all these years--and there was nothing to forgive, anyway, since Remus hadn't done anything wrong, except to have really bad taste in boyfriends. Sirius grudgingly acknowledged that perhaps Snape had a reason to be angry at _him_ , but it was unfair to blame Remus for something Sirius had done, which only proved his point about Snape being unworthy of Remus.

He felt very virtuous and self-righteous for a moment, until he realized that right or wrong, he was still stuck here until Death decided to let him out, and he sighed dispiritedly and slumped back on the couch.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war ends, and Sirius reluctantly agrees to fulfill his mission to reunite Remus and Snape, but finds this easier said than done.

Sirius was so bored and frustrated and anxious that he was ready to start climbing the walls--and he would have tried, if he thought it would do any good. He was concerned about Harry and Remus, of course, and he continued watching the television, as frustrating as it was, for whatever bits of information he could glean. Remus's mission was not going well; the other werewolves were mostly too frightened of Greyback to turn against him, and they scorned Remus for being a "tame wolf" who had spent so much time trying to pass as human. He still saw only glimpses of Harry, and much more of Snape than he would have liked. The greasy git and Dumbledore were hatching some sort of convoluted plot, but were so cryptic and mysterious about it, even during their private discussions, that Sirius couldn't figure out exactly what they were up to. Dumbledore did seem to know that Snape had made an Unbreakable Vow, and didn't seem concerned about it, so Sirius didn't know whether this meant that he didn't know that Snape had vowed to kill him, or if he had figured out some loophole to get around the Vow.

But he couldn't watch the television all the time. For one thing, he'd go cross-eyed if he stared at the thing for days on end without interruption, although the effect was no doubt psychological rather than physical, since he was dead, after all. For another, if he watched it for too long, he inevitably got frustrated to the point where he was tempted to pick up the damned machine and throw it across the room. But if it broke, then he'd be stuck here with nothing but the magazines and no way to keep track of Harry and Remus.

So when he started getting annoyed at the blasted thing, he would shut it off and give his temper time to cool down. He ended up reading every magazine in the room from cover to cover; no matter how boring they were, it was still less boring than just staring at the walls--although only slightly less so. After he finished all of them, he began tearing out pages and folding them into paper airplanes, which amused him for an all too brief time. It was a pity that they didn't fly well; maybe it was the quality of the paper, or maybe it was just because there was no breeze or draft in this windowless room.

Meanwhile, in the television, Snape killed Dumbledore and Remus fell into despair. Tonks continued to throw herself at Remus with such desperation that even Sirius began to find it a little unseemly, and Remus seemed too tired to fend her off. Harry, Ron, and Hermione disappeared on a quest for some mysterious weapon that would help them vanquish Voldemort; Harry had refused to discuss it with any of the Order members, even Remus, because Dumbledore had apparently told him not to. Sirius frowned; what on earth had the old man been thinking, to send three teenagers out into danger with no one to protect them? Perhaps he hadn't entirely trusted everyone in the Order--certainly Sirius had never trusted Mundungus Fletcher any farther than he could through him--but surely Dumbledore knew that Remus and McGonagall could be trusted.

Strangely enough, it was by watching Snape that Sirius finally discovered what Harry was doing: searching for Voldemort's Horcruxes. And shockingly, this was because Snape was secretly feeding clues to the trio about the locations of the Horcruxes. Sirius thought at first that he was setting up a trap to capture Harry, but one by one, Harry located the Horcruxes and destroyed them while Voldemort grew increasingly frantic and angry, venting his frustrations by casting Crucio spells on his Death Eaters. Voldemort became convinced that one of his servants had betrayed him, although they didn't seem to know that the Horcruxes even existed; apparently most of them thought that Harry was tracking down some sort of powerful magical artifact to defeat their Dark Lord. Only Snape was above suspicion, because he had personally murdered Dumbledore, although that didn't spare him from being hit with the occasional Crucio.

And finally, it all came to an end: Harry and his friends destroyed all the Horcruxes except for the small piece of Voldemort's soul that had lodged inside Harry's body. Voldemort unwittingly destroyed that one himself when he attempted to kill Harry, and ironically, the Dark Lord was brought down by an Expelliarmus spell and his own rebounded curse.

Snape stumbled into view, pale and bleeding from the neck, and looking more concerned than vengeful, Remus cried out, "Severus!"

Others on the battlefield raised their wands with cries of "Capture the traitor!" or even "Kill the traitor!" while Harry protested that he'd seen Snape's memories and that Snape had been working on their side all along.

"With all due respect, he might have tricked you, Harry," Kingsley Shacklebolt said, keeping his wand and a wary eye fixed on Snape, who made no move to defend himself. "Memories can be altered, and Snape is an expert in Legilimency."

Then a burst of song filled the air, beautiful enough to bring tears to everyone's eyes, and flames lit up the night sky as Fawkes flew into view; hanging from his tail feathers was...Dumbledore?!

"If I vouch for Severus, is that good enough?" he asked cheerfully.

Students and teachers and Order members crowded around him, laughing and crying and demanding to know how he could be alive. Only Snape looked unsurprised. After a startled but still cautious Kingsley determined that this really was Dumbledore and not an impostor using a Polyjuice Potion or illusion spell, the Headmaster explained how he and Snape had conspired to fake his death, while Fawkes flew over and wept healing tears onto Snape's wounded neck.

"I had to die, you see," Dumbledore said in a conversational tone. "Voldemort had ordered Draco to kill me, or he would kill the entire Malfoy family as punishment."

"No loss," someone muttered, but Harry firmly told them to shut up. In the end, Draco had turned against his master and defended Harry when Crabbe and Goyle had tried to attack him, and Narcissa had lied to Voldemort about Harry being dead--more for her son's sake than for Harry's, but still, she had protected Harry. But then, Narcissa, while a snob, had never been a crazed fanatic like her sister. Bellatrix was dead at Molly Weasley's hand, and Sirius would not mourn his cousin's death in the least. He smiled as he wondered what her reaction had been when she had been greeted by perky goth-girl Death.

"And then Severus made an Unbreakable Vow to help Draco kill me, in order to gain Voldemort's trust," Dumbledore continued. "It was crucial that he remain as close to Voldemort as possible, in order to gain the information that Harry needed to defeat him. So we found a way to fulfill the Vow to the letter, whilst bending the spirit a bit. To all observers, it appeared that Severus had slain me with a Killing Curse, but although he spoke the words 'Avada Kedavra'--" His eyes twinkled with mischievous good humor behind his half-moon glasses as most of his listeners flinched. "--they were only words," Dumbledore finished. "And as all of you should remember from your Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons, one has to truly mean it for an Unforgivable Curse to work. So while Severus appeared to be casting a Killing Curse, he was actually casting a small nonverbal illusion spell to conjure up a ray of green light while I dramatically flung myself off the tower."

"I am surprised no one realized what was going on, with your dreadful overacting," Snape said dryly, and Fawkes, who was sitting on his shoulder, uttered a little trill that sounded suspiciously like laughter.

"Yes, perhaps I overdid it a bit," Dumbledore chuckled. "But how often does one get to play one's own death scene? And as a youth, I always harbored a secret hankering for the stage and the applause of the audience."

"But Headmaster," Hermione protested, "that would make everyone think you were dead, but it wouldn't fulfill the terms of the Unbreakable Vow, that Sna--er, I mean, Professor Snape had to help Draco kill you."

"Correct as usual, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said, winking at her. "As I fell from the tower, I bit down on a capsule that was filled with a potion concocted by Severus that stops the heart for just a few seconds. So technically, for those few seconds, I was dead and therefore the Vow was fulfilled. Severus never promised to kill me permanently, after all. When I revived, shortly before hitting the ground, I triggered a Portkey that whisked me away to a safe hiding place."

"But...but...there was a body," Remus stammered looking back and forth from Dumbledore to Snape and back again, a look of joy mixed with confusion on his face; Snape just stared back at him coldly. "We all saw it! Poppy examined it, and confirmed to all of us that you were dead!"

"Again, that was all due to Severus's ingenuity," Dumbledore said, beaming at Snape proudly as he patted the Potions Master on the shoulder--the one not currently being occupied by Fawkes, who seemed quite content on his perch. Snape ducked his head, like a schoolboy embarrassed by his father's praise. "As I vanished, Fawkes dropped off a simulacrum that Severus had prepared in advance to take my place."

"A simula-what?" Ron asked, echoing the looks and mutters of bewilderment from most of the rest of the audience.

"A simulacrum," Hermione replied promptly. "It is an artificial body grown from a sample of blood and tissue from a human donor; essentially, it's a clone created by magic." She gazed shrewdly at Dumbledore. "And since a clone is an exact duplicate of the original, there would have been no reason for Madam Pomfrey to suspect it wasn't you, sir."

"Exactly," Dumbledore said approvingly. "Five points to Gryffindor!"

"Miss Granger is no longer a student here," Snape reminded him. "Therefore the points are invalid."

"This simula...this clone thing, it wasn't really alive, right?" Ron asked uneasily. "I mean, you didn't have to kill it to take your place, did you?"

"Of course not, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore assured him, while Snape sneered at the boy.

"A simulacrum is not actually a living person," he said disdainfully, then gave Hermione a sour look. "But I expect that Miss Granger can explain it to you."

Hermione grinned at him, although Snape only gave her a scowl in return. "A simulacrum is only an empty shell," she explained. "It is a copy of a human body, but it has no life of its own. The wizards who first created them were trying to find a way to become immortal, to transfer their souls into new, healthy bodies when their old ones wore out, but the magic was only halfway successful. They managed to create duplicate bodies, but could not find a way to transfer their souls, so the practice was abandoned, and eventually classified as Dark Magic and prohibited. I expect that it was something You-Know-Who looked into, and perhaps that was how the Professor became aware of it?"

Snape nodded. "However, the Dark Lord's body was utterly obliterated by the rebounded curse that resulted from his first attempt to kill Mr. Potter. But Wormtail did use some of the arts of simulacry to create him a new body from his father's bones and Mr. Potter's blood, and of course, Wormtail's own hand."

"So Fawkes deposited the false body at the foot of the tower," Dumbledore said, resuming his story. "No one thought it odd to see him in the vicinity, wailing in grief; everyone assumed that he had instinctively sensed his master's death and had come to mourn me."

The phoenix preened, looking quite pleased with himself, and Snape muttered under his breath, "Even the bird is a ham, but like master, like pet, I suppose." Fawkes chirped and nuzzled Snape affectionately, and Snape said crossly, "Stop that, you stupid bird." However, Fawkes seemed unoffended, and began to preen Snape's greasy locks with his beak, as if grooming a fellow bird.

A stifled snort escaped from Ron as he and Harry tried to hold back their laughter, and Snape shot a murderous glare their way. "It's a sign of affection," Hermione piped up helpfully. "It must mean that he's very fond of you, Professor, which is unusual, since phoenixes normally bond only to one person--when they can be tamed at all, which is of course very rare to begin with." And now Snape turned his glare on Hermione, although its effectiveness was somewhat diminished by the happily crooning phoenix still preening at his hair.

"Now, there's just one more little matter to take care of," Dumbledore said, and pulled his wand out of his pocket as he walked over to Tonks, who was standing at Remus's side, glaring at him possessively as he in turn stared yearningly at Snape, who seemed too busy trying to get Fawkes out of his hair to notice.

"Finite Incantatum," Dumbledore said, tapping Tonks gently on the top of her pink-haired head with his wand.

She suddenly blinked and looked around in confusion. "What just happened? I feel so strange, so light...like a weight has just been lifted off my shoulders."

"You were under an enchantment, my dear," Dumbledore explained. "During one of your missions, you were captured by your Aunt Bellatrix and some of the other Death Eaters. Instead of killing you, they decided to place you under an Imperius Curse and send you back into the Order's ranks as a spy. Bellatrix thought it would be amusing to degrade her half-blood niece by making her fall in love with a werewolf. And you already liked Remus as a friend, which made it easier for the spell to take hold than if she tried to make you fall in love with someone you hated, such as...ah..."

"Me," Snape supplied sourly.

Tonks giggled, already sounding much more like her usual cheery self. "Oh, I never really hated you, Professor, at least, not until I thought you had murdered the Headmaster. But I certainly never fancied you, either--no offense."

"None taken," Snape replied dryly, smoothing down his hair with one hand, as Fawkes had finally deemed him sufficiently groomed. "Lupin was chosen as your target because he was single, and due to the prejudices of wizarding society, did not exactly have a multitude of potential romantic partners lining up at his door to present themselves."

"In other words," Remus said, a little bitterly, "they thought that I would jump at the opportunity, no questions asked, when a pretty young witch expressed an interest in me. No doubt they thought I'd be pathetically grateful."

"I...I'm sorry, Remus," Tonks whispered, blushing guiltily. "I never meant to play with your feelings. I do like you a lot, but...more like a brother than a lover. But the spell had me convinced that I couldn't live without you."

"It's all right, Tonks," Remus said, taking her hand and patting it gently, the bitterness instantly draining away to be replaced by a gentle and reassuring smile. "It wasn't your fault, and to be honest, I'm more relieved than disappointed. I also think of you more like a little sister than a girlfriend. I should have made my feelings clear from the beginning, but I thought it was just a normal infatuation that would fade with time, and I didn't want to hurt your feelings. And then, after Albus died, or seemed to..." He sighed, a look of regret falling across his face. "Everyone wanted us to get together, to create at least one happy ending during a time of despair, and I fell into my old habits and caved in to peer pressure."

"Then you were never really attracted to me?" Tonks asked, sounding as if she didn't know whether to feel relieved or offended.

"It's nothing personal," Remus said with a grin. "You are a very lovely girl, but I'm just not attracted to you--or to women in general."

Tonks's mouth fell open in shock. "You mean--?"

"I'm gay," Remus confirmed cheerfully, and Tonks burst into laughter as Molly Weasley looked incredibly chagrined.

"Well, what a relief!" Tonks laughed, wrapping her arms around Remus and giving him a very sisterly and not at all romantic hug. "I hope you find a nice bloke to settle down with!"

"I hope so, too," Remus replied, glancing at Snape out of the corner of his eye; Snape turned his head, refusing to meet Remus's gaze. "But as a gay werewolf, my options are even more limited, and...I may have burned bridges behind me with...with certain people who might have been interested in me in the past."

Tonks gave him a curious look, but did not press for more information. She kissed his cheek and said, "Don't worry, Remus; you'll find the right man one day, and so will I--but now I know that it won't be you!"

Remus said lightly, "I hope so! You can be my best man--best woman?--if I get married someday..."

"And you can be my wolf of honor!" Tonks declared, and they both burst into laughter. The reactions of those around them were rather mixed. Some cheered and applauded, like Hermione and Kingsley, while others looked completely stunned by the news that Remus was gay, like Ron and Harry.

Remus gazed anxiously at Harry, who smiled at him and said, "Well, that was a bit of a shock, but I hope you'll be happy and...er...find the right bloke someday. Sorry that I tried to pressure you into getting together with Tonks." He blushed. "I really thought you'd make a good couple; I didn't know about...you know, you being gay and all."

"It's my fault, too," Remus said with a relieved smile. "I should have told you, but I was worried that it would change the way you felt about me."

"Of course not!" Harry said indignantly. "Like I said, it was a shock, but that doesn't change the fact that you're my friend. My folks knew about it, right, and they didn't care, did they?" Remus nodded. "Then neither do I!" Harry declared firmly.

And with that matter resolved, people began celebrating the end of the war and the return of Dumbledore, and also began tending to the more serious matters of treating the wounded and burying the dead.

Sirius turned off the television and sighed in relief, leaning back on the couch. He was still imprisoned in Limbo, but at least Voldemort was dead and Harry was safe. He felt like he could rest in peace now.

Except that he was still dead, and still no closer to moving on to the afterlife than he had been when he had died...he paused to count...two years ago. And he was still stuck in this damned waiting room with nothing to do but watch television and read boring magazines and fold paper airplanes that wouldn't fly.

"I can't stand it anymore!" he shouted, and Death immediately appeared.

"Change your mind yet?" she inquired.

"Shouldn't you be out there gathering up the dead souls?" Sirius asked, gesturing vaguely at the blank television screen.

"Already taken care of," Death said briskly. "I've already sent the dead on to their proper reward, including the late Lord Voldemort himself."

"And where did he go?" Sirius wanted to know, hoping that it was someplace hot, with an abundance of pitchforks, although even Hell might be too good for the evil bastard.

"He went where he needed to go," Death said, in a firm tone that indicated she wouldn't elaborate further. "The person whose fate we are currently discussing is you. Now that you know that Snape is innocent, are you finally willing to do your duty and patch up things between him and Remus?"

"Well, I admit that he didn't kill Dumbledore and that he really was working on the Order's side, but I don't know if I'd call him innocent," Sirius grumbled. "And why does it matter so much to you if the two of them get together or not? There are plenty of other people out there who haven't found their soulmates. You took Colin Creevey today, for example--now he'll never have the chance to fall in love and get married, at least not in this life. What makes Remus and Snape so special?"

To his surprise, Death's pale face turned red as she blushed. "I'm a bit of a romantic," she admitted with a sheepish smile. "And your friends have had such a long and tragic history--"

"Snape is not my friend!" Sirius protested.

"And...well, I have to admit that I have a weakness for yaoi," Death continued, still blushing.

"What on earth is 'yaoi'?" Sirius asked with a puzzled frown.

Death plucked a paperback book out of thin air and tossed it over to him in reply. Sirius opened it and began leafing through the pages; it seemed to be a comic book, and it was written in Japanese, so he couldn't read the words, but judging by the pictures, it appeared to be some kind of love story. Both the protagonists were so androgynously beautiful that he wasn't certain of their gender until they started taking off their clothes...

Sirius flung the book from him in disgust. "You're into gay porn?!" he demanded incredulously.

"It's not pornography, it's art!" Death said indignantly, picking up the book and smoothing out the pages that had gotten creased when it hit the floor. "No wonder Remus was afraid to tell you that he was gay back in school, if he suspected that you were going to react this way!"

"I didn't say that there was anything wrong with being gay!" Sirius defended himself. "But that doesn't mean that I want to look at pictures of two guys having sex! If Remus is gay, that's fine, and I'd like to see him be happy! But I don't understand why he can't be happy with someone like Kingsley Shacklebolt or Charlie Weasley instead of Snape!"

"Well, for one thing, both Kingsley and Charlie are heterosexual," Death replied. "Charlie is dating a lovely Romanian witch, and Kingsley has always had his eye on Tonks, which is why he was so happy to find out that Remus is gay." She grinned widely.

"Kingsley has a thing for Tonks?" Sirius exclaimed. "I didn't know that!"

"You never paid enough attention to the people around you, or you might have noticed that before," Death chided. "Although to be fair, he kept his feelings well hidden, because he thought he was too old for her. But now that the war's over, I don't think he'll waste this second chance that's been given to him. But getting back to Remus, it still wouldn't matter if Kingsley and Charlie were gay, because they're not his soulmates; Snape is."

"They're really meant to be together?" Sirius asked plaintively, but from the way Remus had been looking at Snape tonight, he already knew the answer, even though he didn't like it very much.

"Yes, Sirius," Death replied patiently, like a mother explaining the obvious to a very young child. "You do want Remus to be happy, don't you?"

"Yes," Sirius sighed. "I just wish it could be with someone other than Snape."

"Well, that's the way it is," Death said firmly. "It's Snape or nobody. So are you going to cooperate or not?"

"All right," Sirius said sullenly. "If that's the only way I can get out of this damned room, I guess I haven't got a choice."

Death frowned at him disapprovingly. "You know, I was just going to send you back as a ghost, but since you're being so ungracious about the whole thing, I think I'll get a little more creative."

"I've already agreed to do what you want," Sirius complained. "I don't know how much more gracious I'm supposed to get."

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this," Death said with a wicked smile worthy of Snape, and rubbed her hands together gleefully.

Sirius suddenly had a sinking feeling that he'd just made a very big mistake. "Uh, wait a minute, let's talk this over. I can be gracious--"

But it was too late. Death made a quick gesture with her hand, and Sirius found himself caught in the middle of glittering whirlwind of magic--literally glittering. It was like a Muggle girl's daydream of what magic would be like: dancing, sparkling motes of light that looked nothing like the spells cast by real wizards. Although it did look a bit like fairy magic...

Then the glittering lights died away and Sirius looked cautiously down at himself. At first, nothing appeared to be different except that he was clad in a dress robe made of dark blue velvet; a bit fancier than what he normally wore, but there was nothing wrong with it--except that the sleeves and hem and collar were edged with frilly ruffles and lace.

"This is a woman's robe!" he said accusingly.

"It's proper attire for your new role," Death said sweetly.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius demanded, but was distracted by an itching sensation between his shoulder blades. He reached behind himself to scratch that spot when his fingers brushed against something smooth and soft that triggered another odd sensation--like fingers touching his bare skin, except that his hand had not yet reached his back, which was in any case, covered by the frilly robe. He turned his head, trying to look behind him, and caught a glimpse of filmy, transparent purple butterfly wings--that is, if the butterfly happened to be about six feet tall.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!" Sirius shrieked.

"Now, just calm down, Sirius," Death said soothingly, but her eyes were sparkling with glee, and it was obvious that she was thoroughly enjoying herself. She snapped her fingers, and a full-length mirror appeared in the middle of the room. "Here, take a look. It's very nice work I did, if I do say so myself."

Filled with dread, Sirius slowly turned to gaze at his reflection in the mirror, and saw himself clad in the frilly robe, with purple butterfly wings growing out of his back. He experimentally twitched his shoulders and felt them flutter; there seemed to be two slits in the back of the robe to accommodate the wings, although it still seemed like it would be nearly impossible to push the large, gauzy, and fragile-looking appendages through them. Then again, it wasn't as if he had donned the robe in the normal fashion; it had been conjured up by Death's magic.

He was so preoccupied with the wings that it took him a minute to notice the shiny little glass tiara sitting on his head. "I am going to kill you," he said through gritted teeth.

"No can do," Death informed him cheerily. "It's impossible to kill Death. Well, technically I can die, but only when I take mortal form for one day out of every hundred years, and today is not that day." She sighed. "Too bad, though. It was fun being alive and eating hot dogs and riding in a taxi and listening to music. The dying part wasn't as much fun, but it's dying that makes life worth living."

"Forget the existentialist crap!" Sirius shouted. "I want to know what you've done to me!"

"Why, isn't it obvious?" Death replied. "Oops, I forgot one thing!" Another snap of her fingers, and Sirius found himself holding a wand topped with a shiny silver star. "There you go--you're a fairy godmother!" Sirius recoiled in horror, frantically grabbing at his crotch, and was relieved to find that everything still seemed to be in the right place. Death grinned and added, "Well, to be accurate, I guess I should say that you're a fairy godfather. And you're going to make Severus's and Remus's greatest wish come true."

Sirius scowled at his wand, which looked more like a Muggle child's toy than a proper wizard's wand. "I don't suppose that I can turn you into a frog with this thing?"

"Nope," Death replied. "So don't even think about it. You can work fairy magic--turn pumpkins into carriages, rags into beautiful dresses, mice into footmen and that sort of thing, but it will all wear off at the stroke of midnight. Oh, and you won't be able to communicate directly with any living people, although you can influence their thoughts indirectly. You'll find that it's easiest to do this through their dreams while they're sleeping, since that's when most people let down their subconscious barriers. Plus, my brother, the Lord of Dreams, has agreed to let me meddle in his realm a little, as a personal favor to me and since he's something of a romantic himself. Severus is skilled in Legilimency, so you might actually be able to reach him while he's awake, although on the other hand, his talent for Occlumency might block you out." She shrugged. "Well, you'll just have to experiment for yourself and see what works."

"Wait," Sirius begged, throwing away his pride. "I'll do what you want; I'll get Sniv--I mean, Snape and Remus back together; just take away these wings and this stupid fairy godmother outfit!"

"Off with you," Death said dismissively, snapping her fingers, and the waiting room vanished.

***

Sirius found himself standing alone in one of the corridors at Hogwarts; Death was nowhere in sight. "Well, at least I'm finally free of that damned waiting room," he sighed. The next order of business was to see if he could rid himself of this stupid costume. He tried to Transfigure it with the silly-looking wand, but it did nothing but issue a spray of pretty but useless glittering sparks. Disgusted, he grabbed hold of the ruffled hem and yanked viciously at it. With a great deal of effort, he managed to tear off all the lace and ruffles, although much of the cloth came away with it, leaving his chest bare, and the sleeves and hem several inches shorter. The discarded scraps of cloth dissolved into a cloud of glitter and vanished. However, the damned tiara stuck to his head as if glued there, and would not budge. As for the wings, predictably, the wand was useless, and when he tentatively tugged at one wing with his hand, he felt a sharp twinge that made it clear that trying to rip it off would be as painful as tearing off his arm or leg.

"I guess I should feel lucky that living people can't see me," Sirius muttered to himself. "Snivellus would laugh his head off if he could see me like this."

Just then, Nearly Headless Nick happened to drift by and did a double-take when he spotted Sirius. "Oh my!" he exclaimed. "It's Sirius Black, isn't it? I haven't seen you since you were, well..."

"Alive?" Sirius supplied, a bit sarcastically.

"I was going to say 'since you were a student,' but yes, that too," Nick replied. "Although..." He tried to fight back a snicker, and failed miserably. "You've...ah...changed quite a bit since I last saw you, and it's not just due to age or your death. In fact, I've never met such a...unique...sort of spirit."

"This is what happens when you piss off Death," Sirius said sourly.

"I didn't anger the Lady, though she seemed saddened when I refused to come with her," Nick said regretfully. "I see now that it must have been out of compassion, because she knew that I was condemning myself to this half-life, where I am neither truly dead nor truly alive. If I could see her again...I think I would go with her this time."

"Well, I'll put in a good word for you when next I see her," Sirius said uncomfortably. Nick had always seemed so cheerful when Sirius had been a student that it had never occurred to him that the Gryffindor ghost might be unhappy in his present state. Death would probably say that it was because he never stopped to think; Remus had often said the same thing, sometimes with amusement, other times with exasperation, and once, after the prank, with genuine anger. "On the other hand, you might not want your name associated with me," Sirius sighed. "I'm not exactly her favorite person at the moment."

"You're only here temporarily, then?" Nick asked.

"Yes, I sort of have a special mission to complete," Sirius said, grimacing at the thought. "Unfinished business, she said."

"You're very privileged, then," Nick said enviously. "It isn't often that Lady Death allows a spirit to return for such a purpose."

"Well, believe me, I'd rather not be here," Sirius grumbled. "But she won't let me move on until I complete my mission."

"Might I inquire as to the purpose of your mission?" Nick asked curiously. "As long as you aren't sworn to secrecy, of course. Perhaps I can be of assistance."

Sirius flushed. "Well, you see, I sort of caused Snape and my friend Remus to quarrel when we were all students here, and that broke up their, um, friendship. So now I have to set things right before Death will let me go on to the afterlife."

"Oh, I see," Nick said knowingly. "They're still carrying a torch for each other after all these years, then? I had assumed that it was just a typical teenage crush, but I guess it must be true love after all, if Lady Death granted a special exception for your mission."

"You knew?!" an utterly shocked Sirius exclaimed. "About Snape and Remus, I mean!"

"We ghosts see quite a bit more than the students and even the teachers realize," Nick said with a slightly patronizing smile. "It's easy enough when we can turn transparent and move through walls, and to be quite frank, there's not much else to do around here. You have no idea how many things I've seen that would cause a great scandal were they to become public knowledge in the world of the living." He smiled slyly. "You'd be surprised at the amount of action going on in the teachers' quarters; bet you never thought about them having private lives when you were a boy, eh?"

Sirius was trying very hard not to think about it; the idea of say, Dumbledore or McGonagall getting some "action" made him feel rather ill. "The only sort of 'action' I care about is getting Snape and Remus back together," he said sullenly. "I don't think the greasy git is good enough for my friend, but Death insists that they're lifemates and they have to be together or they'll never find happiness."

"Then fate is already working in your favor, Sirius!" Nick declared cheerfully. "Professor Snape has been officially exonerated by the Ministry, and has resumed his old position as Potions Master--he had to take a demotion since Albus is Headmaster once again, of course, but he doesn't seem to mind. And Albus has hired Professor Lupin back as the Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor, so both he and Professor Snape are now in close proximity."

"That does make things a lot easier for me," Sirius agreed, feeling a bit relieved. "I was afraid I'd have to find some way to drag Snape out of the castle, or a way to bring Remus here. If they're both living under the same roof and they're still in love with each other as Death claims, they'll just need a little nudge in the right direction to get back together.

***

Of course it couldn't possibly be that simple, Sirius realized later.

Thinking that a romantic gesture might set things in motion, he conjured up a bouquet of flowers and placed it in Snape's quarters, along with a card saying that it was from Remus, and delivered an identical bouquet to Remus with a card from Snape.

But instead of being happy, Remus was bewildered and suspicious. "Severus would never send me flowers," he said to himself as he examined the card. "But who would do such a thing? No one living knows about my feelings for Severus. Well, Albus might have guessed, but he'd never play such a cruel prank."

"It's not a prank, Moony!" Sirius said indignantly. "I'm trying to help you get back together with the greasy git! Show a little gratitude!"

But Remus just laughed ruefully and shook his head, "And now I'm talking to myself! It's the stress of the war, I suppose." He cast several detection spells on the card and flowers, and was puzzled when they registered fairy magic. "I suppose it could just be a mischievous fairy playing a prank, but I didn't think that there were any loose in the castle," he murmured to himself. He dispelled the flowers, shrugged off the incident, and headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Along the way, he was stopped by a furious Snape, who lashed out at him about the "moronic prank" he had played. "Just like the old days, I suppose, Lupin?" he sneered, then poked Remus in the chest with his wand threateningly. "Just remember, Potter senior and Black aren't here to defend you, and you're no match for me one on one. But of course you already knew that, since the lot of you were afraid to come after me alone back in school."

"Severus, I have no idea what you're talking about," Remus said.

"Oh, playing innocent again, are we?" Snape retorted. "I suppose you know nothing about the flowers that mysteriously appeared in my room this morning."

"No, I don't," Remus said. "Listen, Severus, I think we're both victims of the same prankster--I got a bouquet of flowers, too--"

"How stupid do you think I am, Lupin?" Snape interrupted. "I have to say, it's a new low even for you, mocking me with those flowers and that romantic note. You'd be better off expending your energy on courting Miss Tonks--oh wait, she doesn't want you anymore now that she's not under an Imperius. The new Minister of Magic is much more her style, it seems."

"I am not mocking you, Severus," Remus said, a hint of impatience sharpening his voice.

"Then you're saying that you didn't send me those flowers?" Snape asked disbelievingly.

"That's what I've been saying all along!" Remus shouted in exasperation--a tone Sirius had heard often enough in the past. "I'd never do such a thing!"

Snape's face suddenly went pale, and his lips pressed together tightly in a thin line. "Of course not," he said in a clipped voice. "It would be foolish to think that you would ever want to send flowers to me."

"Severus, that's not what I meant!" Remus protested, but Snape turned on his heel and marched off down the corridor without another word. "I only meant that I would never mock you," he finished in a small, sad voice, then followed after Snape, his shoulders slumped and head bowed with despair. And for the first time, Sirius truly began to feel bad about the prank he had pulled years ago--not so much because Snape didn't deserve it, but because he had never meant to hurt Remus so badly. He sighed heavily. He'd meant to protect Remus by chasing Snape away from his friend; how was he supposed to have guessed that Moony and the greasy git were lifemates?

"Well, that didn't go so well," Nick observed.

"I'll do better next time," Sirius said defensively. "I went a little overboard. I forgot how paranoid Snape is, and nobody in their right mind would believe that Snape would send them flowers. I'll try to make things look a bit more natural next time. Let's see...how about a happy accident?"

He decided to wait until tomorrow to set his new plan in motion, in order to give Snape time to cool down a little. In the meantime he began to experiment with his new fairy powers. He could move through walls like the ghosts could, although he wasn't sure if this was a fairy power or if it was because he was dead. He could Apparate like the house-elves did, despite the anti-Apparation wards on the school, but he couldn't go beyond the castle grounds; again, he wasn't sure whether this was due to a natural limitation on fairy magic or if it was something Death had imposed on him to make sure he didn't stray from his mission. The ghosts could see him, of course, but none of the humans could, and curiously, neither could the portraits.

"Perhaps it's because they were never really alive," Nick suggested. "You're more of a ghost than a fairy, actually, so I think that only those who have been touched by Lady Death's hand can see you."

Or maybe not. Peeves was a poltergeist rather than a ghost, but he had no trouble seeing Sirius; he promptly burst into laughter at the sight of him. "Oh, what a pretty fairy you make!" he taunted.

"Get out of here, Peeves," Sirius growled. He pointed his wand at the poltergeist and attempted to cast a small hex to send him on his way. Instead, a stream of glitter and flower petals issued forth from the wand, causing Peeves to laugh even harder.

"Fairy's not so scary," he crooned mockingly. "Airy hairy fairy--"

"Begone with you, Peeves, or I'll call for the Bloody Baron!" Nick threatened.

Peeves blew a raspberry in their direction, but promptly vanished after that.

"Thanks, Sir Nick," Sirius said gratefully, then scowled at his wand. "Bloody useless thing."

Continuing with his experimentation, Sirius confirmed that the wand couldn't cast any offensive spells. He could conjure up flowers and candy and pretty illusions, but that was about it. Those pretty butterfly wings were actually functional, though, much to his surprise, and with their aid, he could fly along the corridors with Nick although he felt incredibly stupid.

"This is so embarrassing," he groaned.

"Not quite as embarrassing as being denied a place in the Headless Hunt just because one's head is only nearly severed instead of completely cut off," Nick said. "Bloody incompetent executioner."

They commiserated for quite awhile about how unfair life--or rather, death--was. (And in Sirius's case, the reason behind his current misery was Death with a capital "D".)

***

He spent half of the next day fluttering after a depressed Remus, waiting for an opportunity to carry out his plan. Finally he sent Nick to herd Snape in the right direction with a report that some students were throwing dungbombs at each other. Snape hurried down the corridor, wand drawn, intent upon punishing the (nonexistent) miscreants, and passed right below the staircase that Remus was descending.

Praying that the stupid wand would work for once, Sirius conjured up a banana peel beneath Remus's feet, murmuring, "Sorry, Moony, but it's for your own good." As planned, Remus slipped on the peel and tumbled down the staircase as a startled Snape looked up when he heard Remus cry out.

He was supposed to literally fall into Snape's arms, and the sight of his lifemate in danger would hopefully override Snape's hostility and arouse his concern long enough to safely catch Remus. And once they were in each other's arms, well, surely chemistry and true love and twenty years' worth of suppressed lust (Sirius tried not to think too hard about that one) would do the rest, right? At least, that was how it had worked in a book he'd read once.

Except that Remus hit Snape with a little too much force, knocking him over flat on his back, and the Potions Master's body hit the floor with a very painful-sounding crash that made Sirius wince.

"Oh dear, I hope he didn't break any bones," Nick said.

"LUPIN!" Snape roared. "Are you trying to kill me--again?!"

"I'm so sorry, Severus!" Remus exclaimed. "There was something on the staircase and I just slipped--are you all right?"

"No, I am not all right, you stupid werewolf!" Snape spat. "Get off of me!"

"Oh, sorry," Remus said, hastily scrambling to his feet and offering Snape a hand up.

Snape slapped it away and snarled, "What's the matter, you couldn't wait for the full moon, so you decided to kill me by breaking my neck instead of ripping my throat out?"

"It was an accident!" Remus said, looking very hurt. "Surely you don't think that I fell on you on purpose?"

Snape slowly rose to his feet and made a show of dusting off his robes. "You did try to kill me once before, Lupin. It is certainly within the realm of possibility that you might want to finish the job you botched in the past."

"So you think I'd throw myself down a staircase and risk breaking my own neck?!" Remus shouted. "Where's the logic in that?!" Sirius winced again. Once again, that tone of voice was familiar to him, the one Remus used when his considerable patience was stretched to the breaking point and he finally lost his temper. Sirius was the usually the only one who could push him that far, but it seemed that Snape had that particular talent, too.

"I have learned not to expect logic from moronic Gryffindors!" Snape retorted.

"I have apologized over and over for that incident, even though I had no conscious part in it!" Remus shouted. "And I have apologized many times for things that I did do wrong, for not doing my duty as a prefect when James and Sirius hexed you! And while we're talking about apologies and wrongdoings, let me remind you that you got me fired from my job here four years ago, but I forgave you for that!"

"I have nothing to apologize for, so I don't need your forgiveness!" Snape shouted back. "You forgot to take your potion! You were a danger to the students!"

"And I apologized for that, too!" Remus screamed. "But I'm done, Severus! I'm done with apologizing, just to have my apologies thrown back in my face! Nothing I do will ever make you forgive me, so why should I bother?!" Tears filled his eyes and he whispered, "We might have found happiness together, if you could have let go of your bitterness long enough to try." Then he turned and ran off down the corridor without waiting for a reply.

At first, Sirius wasn't sure that Snape had heard him, but then the Potions Master said in a quiet voice filled with bitterness and regret, "Your friends would never have let that happen, Lupin." And then he turned and walked off in the opposite direction.

Sirius was filled with a very unpleasant and alien emotion that he couldn't immediately identify, but after several long moments of brooding silence, he finally realized what it was: shame. Snape's words made him feel small and petty and ashamed, like he'd kept Snape and Remus apart out of spite, like he'd deliberately tried to stand in the way of his best friend's happiness.

 _Well, isn't that exactly what you did?_ his conscience asked, sounding an awful lot like Death.

"I didn't mean to," Sirius whispered. "I never meant to hurt him. Not on purpose."

Nick gave him a curious look and said, "Well, your plan didn't quite work out, but..."

"That is the understatement of the year, Nick," Sirius said morosely.

"But you can always try again," Nick said encouragingly. "Let's face it--Snape turned out to be a decent man at heart, but he's still a stubborn bastard. Surely you didn't really think that you were going to get through to him on the first or second try."

Well, actually Sirius had, but Nick was right. He should've known that it wouldn't be that easy.

"But maybe on the third or fourth or fifth try..." Nick continued.

"Is that supposed to be encouraging?" Sirius asked sarcastically, but his spirits lifted a bit, and the corners of his mouth quirked up in a smile. "All right," he said determinedly. "Snape may be a stubborn git, but I'll show him that I can be even more stubborn!"

"That's the spirit!" Nick said brightly. "Er...no pun intended."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While reading HBP, I was convinced right up until the funeral scene that Dumbledore was faking his death so that Snape could prove his loyalty to Voldemort. Alas, I was wrong, but it was fun creating my own little fantasy of how I thought Book 7 should have ended. ^_^
> 
> I took a few liberties with the character of Death--she doesn't normally allow the dead to come back to deal with unfinished business, and I don't think it's ever mentioned that she reads manga, let alone yaoi manga, but I sort of feel like she's the type who would enjoy reading yaoi. (And enjoy teasing Sirius a bit with it, too!)
> 
> And there's a little nod to snegurochka_lee's [The Blue Door](http://community.livejournal.com/lupin_snape/1088893.html) in the line "Charlie is dating a lovely Romanian witch". I picked Kingsley and Charlie as Sirius's suggested alternative love interests for Lupin, as they appear to be single and unattached in the books, and I just couldn't resist throwing in the reference to Marina, Charlie's wife in The Blue Door, because she is such an awesome OC that it almost feels like they ought to be a canon couple.
> 
> And the concept of the simulacrum comes from the Dungeons and Dragons game, though I tweaked it a bit to suit my needs.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius enters Remus's and Severus's dreams in an attempt to reconcile them.

Death had told Sirius that he could influence people's thoughts while they were sleeping, so he slipped into Remus's room that night after his friend went to bed. Sirius gazed dubiously at his wand and muttered, "For once, will you do something right?" He hesitantly shook it over Remus's head, and a shower of glittering sparks fell from it, and the scenery around him seemed to blur...

And he found himself standing beside the lake outside the castle. Remus sat on the shore, skipping stones across the water's surface, but there was no gray in his hair and no lines on his face; he appeared to be about fifteen or sixteen years old.

 _Ah, so I must be inside his dream, which means that the stupid wand did work this time,_ Sirius thought. He glanced down at himself, half-expecting to find that he had turned into a teenager, too, but he was still wearing the torn blue robe, and still holding the silly star-tipped wand, and...he tentatively flexed his wings and felt them flutter. Yes, they were still there, too, damn it!

"Padfoot?" Remus asked in a startled voice, his eyes widening as he caught sight of Sirius. His mouth opened and closed several times without making a sound, then he doubled over as he burst into laughter.

"Nice way to greet your dead friend, Moony," Sirius said sourly, as he sat down on the grass beside Remus. "I thought you might shed a few tears, maybe hug me and say, 'It's so nice to see you again, Sirius'--but no, you just sit there laughing your head off."

Remus was laughing so hard that he was clutching at his stomach and tears were streaming down his face. "I-I'm s-sorry, Sirius," he gasped. "But you look so ridiculous in that get-up! What are you supposed to be, anyway, a fairy godmother?"

"A fairy god _father_ ," Sirius replied, mustering all the dignity he could manage, which under the circumstances, was not much. "I'm here to grant your fondest wish."

That set off another round of laughter, and Sirius had to wait another a few minutes for Remus to get himself under control.

"Ah, thank you, Padfoot," Remus said, still chuckling as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "I really needed a good laugh!"

"So glad to oblige," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Sorry," Remus said, although he was still grinning from ear to ear. Actually, it was nice to see Moony smiling again, when he'd been so miserable for...well, pretty much since Sirius had died, and probably long before that.

Since he'd broken Remus and Snape up with his little "prank," Sirius admitted to himself with a little sigh of resignation.

"But I guess that's why I'm dreaming of you now," Remus was saying. "Because this must be a dream since you're dead in real life, right? I was feeling down, and I needed a friend to cheer me up. Though I'm not sure why I'd dream of you dressed up like a fairy godmother."

"God _father_!"

"I'll have to do some research into dream symbology when I wake up," Remus mused, ignoring him. "Or maybe tonight's dinner just didn't agree with me. The curry was a little spicy..."

"This is a dream, but you aren't imagining me!" Sirius told him. "I've been sent here by Death! You see, I messed up things between you and Snape, and now I can't move on until I set things right and help you guys get back together."

"Okay, now I _know_ I must be dreaming," Remus said, blinking in surprise. "The real Sirius would never be trying to get me and Severus together."

"Look, this isn't a dream," Sirius tried to persuade his friend. "Well, it is, but I'm real. I can't communicate with living people except through dreams. Anyway, what Death told me is--"

"Death?" Remus interrupted. "As in the personification of death...skeletal man clad in black robes, carrying a scythe? That Death?"

"Yes, except that Death is actually a woman," Sirius replied. "A cute goth girl with a rather nasty sense of humor." He scowled, motioning at himself. "Which is how I ended up like this."

"I see," Remus said doubtfully, as if he didn't see at all. "But why would Death care whether Severus and I are together or not?"

"Because she's a pervert," Sirius said sourly. "And because she claims that you and Snape are supposed to be lifemates."

"There's no such thing as lifemates," Remus said, although he looked a little wistful. "Things like that only exist in fairy tales."

"Hello!" Sirius said, waving his arms in an exaggeratedly large motion to catch Remus's attention. "See yours truly here? Sometimes fairy tales do come true!"

"Not this one," Remus said quietly, despair lining his face, and suddenly it was the adult Remus sitting next to him, looking gray and haggard. "Even if we are lifemates, Severus hates me. He'll never forgive me for that prank."

He shot a resentful look at Sirius, who hung his head and mumbled, "I'm sorry."

Remus's anger dissipated, and he sighed, running his fingers through his hair distractedly. "Actually, it's not just that, or at least, I don't think so. He felt like I betrayed him because I didn't tell him the truth about myself."

"But you had to keep it secret," Sirius argued. "You weren't allowed to tell anyone that you were a werewolf."

"But I told you three about it," Remus said with a sad smile. "Only after you found out on your own, of course, but still...I shared my secret with you and not with him, and he'll never forgive me for it. I suppose in a way, I can't really blame him. I didn't trust him to still care about me if he knew I was a werewolf, and I didn't trust him when it appeared that he had killed Albus. I immediately believed the worst of him when I should have known better."

"But Moony, everyone was supposed to believe he was a traitor," Sirius pointed out. "That was the whole point of their little scheme, after all."

"But I'm not everyone," Remus said. "I loved him. I still do. Even if things looked bad, even if everyone else turned against him, I should still have had faith in him. I'm not sure I can forgive myself for that, so why should Severus?"

"But he loves you, Moony," Sirius said, he hoped with more confidence than he felt. "Death said you guys were meant to be together! You can't give up now; you have to keep trying to get through to him! I'll help you!"

"Forgive me, Sirius, but I don't think that Severus would be likely to listen to you," Remus said skeptically. "Even if you were real and not a figment of my imagination."

"I am not a figment of your imagination, you stubborn git!" Sirius shouted, beginning to get a little annoyed with his friend. "I told you, Death sent me here to make up for my mistakes! I'm stuck in Limbo and I can't move on to the afterlife until I set things right!"

"Oh, I see," Remus said coldly. "You're not really here to help me, are you? You're only doing this because it benefits you. Maybe you are the real Sirius after all, because you're just as self-centered as he was!"

"Moony!" Sirius protested in a wounded voice. "How can you say that? Look, I know I made some mistakes in the past, but--"

"Go away, Sirius," Remus said, turning his back on him. "Some things cannot be mended no matter how sorry you are, and this is one of them. I've already put Severus through enough pain. I won't add to that by forcing myself on him when I'm no longer wanted."

"Isn't it really yourself that you're trying to protect?" Sirius retorted. "It's not to protect Snape, it's because you're scared of being rejected again! You're a Gryffindor, Moony--I thought you were braver than that!"

Remus flinched, and his head turned back to face Sirius for a moment, his face filled with shock and anger and guilt, and the landscape dissolved around them...

And Sirius found himself back in Remus's bedroom, as his friend sat bolt upright in bed.

Remus glanced around, looking a little wild-eyed, then said shakily, "It was just a dream." And then in a firmer voice, he added, "Of course that's all it was! Of course Sirius wouldn't come back from the dead, and even if he did, he certainly wouldn't be trying to play matchmaker for me and Severus!" He rubbed his stomach and sighed ruefully. "I guess in the future, I shouldn't eat spicy food so close to bedtime. I think I'll go down to the kitchen and get a glass of warm milk..."

Remus threw a robe on over his pajamas and left the room, and Sirius shook his head in disgust. Damn Moony for being so stubborn! And how could Moony accuse him of being selfish, when he was doing all this for Moony's sake? Well, okay, he had wanted to escape from the waiting room, but that was incidental.

Sirius sighed. His motivation was partly selfish, he finally admitted to himself, but now that he'd seen how much Remus was suffering, he really did want to help him.

If he couldn't get through to his best friend, he wasn't likely to have better luck with Snape, but since he couldn't think of a better plan, he headed down to the Potions Master's dungeon quarters, where Snape lay snoring quietly in his bed.

"Well, let's try this again," Sirius said, waving his wand...

Curiously, he found himself standing near the lake again, a little farther back on the shore this time. Snape sat under a tree reading a book, but he seemed to be having trouble concentrating, because he kept flipping back and forth through the pages in a restless manner, too quickly to have actually read anything, unless he happened to be a speed reader. Finally, he set the book aside with a sigh, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a little wooden carving of a coiled serpent, turning it over and over with his fingers while he stared at it broodingly.

Sirius had never seen the statuette before, but he recognized Moony's work easily enough. Remus was clever with his hands and had done many little carvings for his friends as birthday and Christmas presents, since he usually didn't have enough money to buy gifts. Sirius had a little wooden dog that he treasured, a carving Remus had made of his animagus form; Remus had also made a stag for James and a rat for Peter. He must have made the snake for Snape, back before Sirius had broken them up.

That thought reminded him of his duty, so he walked up to Snape and cleared his throat.

Snape instantly dropped the carving and jumped to his feet, pulling his wand out of his pocket. "Black!" he snarled, but as he got a good look at Sirius, his expression changed from angry to bewildered, and he repeated in a more uncertain tone, "Black...?"

"Yes, it's me," Sirius sighed resignedly. "Go ahead and laugh--get it out of your system. I know how stupid I look."

"Oh, of course--this must be a dream," Snape said, sounding relieved to have figured out what was going on. "You're dead, after all, so we couldn't possibly be having this conversation in real life. You could be a ghost, I suppose, but..." Snape snickered. "I can't imagine why you would come back in that silly fairy godmother outfit."

"I'm a fairy god _father_ , dammit!" Sirius said crossly, which only caused Snape to laugh more heartily this time.

Then the Potions Master frowned. "But why would I be dreaming about Black dressed up in a fairy costume? I admit, I would enjoy seeing him humiliated, but I've never imagined it taking quite this form." His frown grew deeper, a furrowed line creasing his forehead. "It must be the curry; I knew it tasted a little off. I swear, if those house-elves have given me food poisoning, I'll render them into potion ingredients!"

"Relax, Snape," Sirius told him. "It's not the curry, so don't take it out on those poor house-elves. I have been sent here by Death to right the wrongs that I committed in my youth."

"What on earth are you blathering on about, Black?" Snape asked irritably. "Run back off to fairyland or dreamland, or wherever it is that you came from, and leave me alone. It's been quite peaceful without you around for the past two years, and I prefer to keep it that way."

"Listen up, you slimy bastard, I'm here to help you!" Sirius barked.

"Now I know I must be dreaming," Snape scoffed. "The real Sirius Black wouldn't deign to piss on me if I were on fire."

Sirius recalled thinking the very same thing, and was tempted to agree, but the thought of an unhappy Moony--and a vengeful Death--caused him to grit his teeth and explain the same thing he had to Remus, that the two of them were lifemates and he was supposed to help the two of them get back together.

"So you see, it wasn't Moony's fault at all," Sirius finished. "He didn't know about the prank. I was afraid that you were getting too close to him, and I was afraid you might hurt him, because I couldn't imagine that you--that a Slytherin could really fall in love with a Gryffindor. So I thought I'd scare you away by showing you that Remus was a werewolf. He knew absolutely nothing about it. So go ahead and hate me--punch me or hex me if that'll make you feel better." He spread his arms wide, offering himself up as a target. "But stop taking it out on Remus. He really does love you; he's never stopped loving you, even after all these years. So stop being so stubborn and get back together with him, will you? He thinks that you hate him, so he's afraid to make the first move."

"That's no surprise," Snape sneered. "He's always been a coward."

"Haven't you been listening to me?" Sirius demanded. "How many times do I have to tell you, Remus didn't know about the prank! He wasn't trying to kill you!"

"I know that!" Snape snapped, to Sirius's complete surprise.

"But then, why...?"

"Why won't I forgive him?" Snape finished. "Because that incident showed me his true colors. I can forgive him for almost killing me or turning me into a Dark Creature. What I can't forgive is that he betrayed me!"

"But I don't understand," Sirius said. "How did he betray you? You just said you knew he wasn't in on my prank!"

"First, he didn't tell me about his lycanthropy," Snape replied in a quiet and bitter voice. "That would be understandable, except that he considered you and your little friends worthy of sharing his secret, but not me. And the second reason is that he remained friends with you and Potter and the rat, even after you tried to kill me."

"James and Peter weren't in on it," Sirius protested. "It was only me!"

"Fine, it was only you," Snape said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "He still forgave you, even after you tried to kill me, even though he would have been imprisoned or executed himself if your little 'prank' had succeeded. He showed himself for what he truly was, a sniveling little coward who would lick the boots of the 'popular' Gryffindors just to keep on their good side." Snape glared at Sirius with pure hatred and jealousy in his black eyes, and the bitterness in his voice honed it to a knife-sharp edge that Sirius could almost feel cutting through him. "He proved that I would always come in a poor second to his dear Marauders, so tell me again why I should take him back."

"He was just a kid then, damn it!" Sirius said angrily. "He was young and scared of losing the only friends he had! He's not the only one who made mistakes when he was young--remember, you joined the Death Eaters, so get off your goddamned pedestal, Snape!"

"Yes, I did, Black," Snape spat. "And I've done my best to atone for that! I played spy for two decades, enduring contempt from both sides, and the Cruciatus whenever the Dark Lord was in a bad mood, and I protected the Potter brat even though he seemed to be doing his best to get himself killed even without the Dark Lord's help! What did you ever do but sit in that moldy house all day whining about how unfair life is while other people did all the work?!"

"You sanctimonious son of a bitch!" Sirius shouted, grabbing Snape by the front of his robes and shaking him. "Why, I ought to--"

"What?" Snape retorted, but in a voice that was surprisingly hollow and empty. "Hex me? Kill me? Go ahead. You already took from me the only person that I ever cared about. There is nothing more you can do to me that is worse than that."

Sirius's fingers slowly released their hold on Snape's robes. "You...really mean that, don't you?" he asked in amazement. "You really do love Remus."

"You always were rather slow, Black," Snape said contemptuously. "I thought you said you already knew that."

"Well, that's what Death told me, but I didn't really believe it," Sirius admitted. "But if you love him, and now you know that he loves you, why won't you forgive him?"

"Because he's still a faithless coward," Snape said bitterly. "When I helped Dumbledore fake his death, Lupin immediately believed that I betrayed the Order. He..." Snape's voice cracked with pain for a moment before he regained control of himself. "He didn't even have a moment's doubt," Snape said harshly, "didn't even stop to question my apparent guilt. And he immediately threw himself into the arms of that wretched pink-haired wench."

"I think it was more the other way around," Sirius interjected. "She was the one throwing herself at him."

"At least she had an excuse for her actions!" Snape shouted. "She was under an Imperius Curse, but Lupin wasn't! He proved that whenever things get rough, he'll abandon me for the first Gryffindor who comes along!"

"Actually, Tonks was a Hufflepuff."

"I don't care!" Snape screamed, his voice filled with rage and anguish. "What's worse is that he wasn't even really attracted to her; he was just afraid of losing his friends--again! Nothing has changed since we were sixteen, Black! I'll always be second to you...to them."

"Snape," Sirius said desperately, "it's not like that, I swear! He feels terrible about doubting you. He blames himself even more than you do! Please..." It hurt to force that word out of his mouth, to set aside his pride and grovel before his childhood enemy this way, but he was struck by an overwhelming feeling that this was a wrong that he needed to right. Death had already told him that, but up until now, it had only been words. Now he knew how deeply he'd scarred Moony--and yes, Snape, too--and he knew that he would never be worthy of resting peacefully in the afterlife until he healed the wounds that he had caused.

"Please forgive him," Sirius begged. "He really does love you, and he won't make those mistakes again. For Merlin's sake, he announced to practically the entire wizarding world that he's gay!"

"But not that he loves me," Snape said bitterly. "He's still ashamed to be seen with greasy old Snivellus. I may have been foolish enough to accept that when I was a schoolboy, but I'm no longer interested in being anyone's dirty little secret."

"It's not like that, you stubborn git!" Sirius shouted. "If you would just listen--"

"Get out of my dream, Black!" Snape shouted. "And go back to the grave, where you belong!"

The dreamscape suddenly shattered, and Sirius was back in Snape's bedroom. Snape was sitting up in bed, panting and dripping with sweat.

"Goddamn bloody Sirius Black, of all people, haunting my dreams," Snape muttered under his breath as he got up and went to the bathroom to search through potion bottles in the medicine cabinet with shaking hands, until he found one labeled "Dreamless Sleep". "And dressed as a fairy godmother! I'll give those house-elves a piece of my mind in the morning! Whose bloody idea was it to put curry on the menu, anyway...?"

Sirius exited Snape's quarters and found Nick waiting for him in the hallway. The ghost took one look at his face and said sympathetically, "It didn't go well, I see."

"No, it didn't," Sirius said, scowling as he crossed his arms over his chest. "They both thought I was a dream conjured up by indigestion."

"Would it help if I told them that you're real?" Nick asked. "They can't see or hear you, but I can communicate with them. Perhaps I could function as a translator of sorts. Although to be honest, I don't really fancy trying to argue with Snape about why he should take back his childhood sweetheart; his temper is worse than the Baron's. But still, if it's for the sake of true love..."

It was a tempting idea, to give his responsibility over to Nick, but Sirius sighed and shook his head. "I appreciate your offer, Nick, but I was the one who caused the problem in the first place, so I think that I'm the one who has to fix things. Besides, even if they believed that I was real, I'm not sure it would make a difference. They both spoke their minds pretty freely to me tonight, even Snape. He actually admitted that he does love Remus. Maybe it's because he thought I was only a dream that he didn't try to hide his secrets from me. Anyway, Remus is too scared of rejection to tell Snape how he feels, and Snape is too bitter to forgive Remus for not having faith in him." He sighed again. "And for always seeming to put his friends first. Snape feels like he's always come in second, and maybe he's right, in a way. It's partly my fault, mine and James. We hated the Slytherins when we were kids, so Remus was afraid to tell us that he'd fallen in love with one."

"It's so tragic, like Romeo and Juliet," Nick sighed.

"Well, I'm hoping that this won't end in a double suicide," Sirius said glumly. "Although I'm tempted to kill them both myself for being so damned stubborn. Not that I'd actually hurt Moony, of course, even if this stupid wand could actually cast a real hex. Wait a minute...Romeo and Juliet..."

"The Montagues and Capulets," Nick elaborated. "Two young lovers, torn apart by feuding families..."

"Yes, yes, I know how the story goes," Sirius said impatiently. "Nick, you've given me a brilliant idea!"

"I have?" the ghost asked, looking puzzled but pleased. "But I thought you said you didn't want this to end in a double suicide."

"No, you're right; we'll have to go with a play that has a happier ending," Sirius said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"A play?" Nick asked, sounding even more confused.

"Yes!" Sirius said, grinning. "We'll cast them as the romantic leads in a play! Beauty and the Beast, maybe? No, it would hurt Moony's feelings to be cast as the Beast, and Snape is certainly no Beauty. Maybe Cinderella? Yes, that's perfect! It'll give Snape the chance to play the put-upon martyr, although Remus does that pretty well, too. And Remus will play the handsome prince. Surely with the two of them reciting romantic lines at each other, they'll get into the spirit of things and fall in love all over again!"

"I don't wish to be a wet blanket, Sirius," Nick said doubtfully. "But how is this different from the flowers and pushing Professor Lupin into Professor Snape's arms?"

"It's completely different!" Sirius said huffily, a little annoyed at having his brilliant plan questioned. "They'll be forced to spend time in each other's company instead of running away. There will be all the rehearsals, and the actual performance..."

"But they're barely even speaking to each other," Nick pointed out. "How will you get them to agree to act in a play together?"

"Easy," Sirius replied confidently. "If it's an order from the Headmaster, they can't refuse, now can they?"

So Sirius made one more trip into someone's dreams--Dumbledore's, this time. He found the Headmaster sitting in a plush, comfortable looking armchair beside a roaring fireplace, happily knitting a woolly striped sock in several clashing colors.

"Hello, Sirius," he said cheerfully, not seeming at all taken aback by Sirius's presence or his unusual attire. "How nice to see you again! Have a seat by the fire, and join me in a cup of cocoa."

Another armchair instantly appeared, along with a mug of cocoa floating in midair. Sirius sat down, grabbed the mug, and took a sip from it. It tasted delicious, even though he was dead and didn't need to drink anything.

"Why aren't you surprised to see me, Albus?" he asked. "I'm dead, after all."

"My boy, haven't I always said that death is just the next adventure?" Dumbledore replied with a wink. "Besides, in dreams, anything can happen--like having a friendly chat with an old friend who just happens to be deceased."

"This is a dream, but you need to believe that I'm real, not just a figment of your imagination, or the result of too much spicy curry for dinner," Sirius said urgently.

"Of course this is a dream, but that doesn't mean that our conversation isn't real," Dumbledore said mildly. "And I thought the curry was rather mild. In fact, I was going to ask the house-elves to make it a little spicier next time."

"Never mind about the curry," Sirius said impatiently. "Although you may have to protect the house-elves from an angry Snape; he's the one who thought I was a curry-inspired nightmare."

Dumbledore chuckled. "I'm a little surprised to hear that you were visiting Severus in his dreams, Sirius, but I'm pleased that you're finally attempting to befriend him. It saddened me that the two of you were never able to resolve your differences before you died."

"Yes, well, I really messed up things when I was alive," Sirius said, flushing with shame, and once more, he told the story about how Death had sent him back to fix his mistake. He was getting rather tired of repeating himself, but at least Dumbledore seemed to be listening with interest and wasn't dismissing him out of hand. "I was angry at Death at first, but now I'm glad that she's given me a chance to set things right," Sirius finished. "Although I still think she went a little too far with this fairy godfather thing."

"Ah, so that explains your, ah, unusual costume," Dumbledore said with a smile. "I had wondered about that, but I thought it would be rude to question your taste in fashion."

"Of course I'd never dress like this on purpose!" Sirius said indignantly, then wondered if the old man was pulling his leg when Dumbledore chuckled again. "Anyway, I have a plan to get Remus and Snape back together."

"I would like to see the two of them be happy, but they are adults, Sirius," Dumbledore said gently. "They have the right to make their own choices, even though we might consider those choices unwise. You cannot force them to reconcile against their will."

"I'm not talking about casting an Imperius Curse on them," Sirius defended himself. "Although believe me, I'd be tempted to, if this stupid wand worked properly! I know we can't force them to get back together, but maybe if we helped establish a setting more conducive to romance..."

He explained his idea about casting them in the play, and Dumbledore thought it over as he continued to knit. "Well, I would have to use force, or at least my authority as Headmaster in order to get them to participate in this play..."

"That was a great speech you gave about choices, Albus, but I know that you're a manipulative old man at heart," Sirius retorted. "You arranged for Remus to teach here during Harry's third year, and you forced Snape to brew the Wolfsbane Potion for him. Weren't you trying to play matchmaker back then? You didn't seem at all surprised to learn that they were lifemates, so you must've already known that they have feelings for each other."

"You're more observant than I thought," Dumbledore said with an approving smile. "Perhaps death has improved your sense of perception. Yes, I was hoping that Remus and Severus would be able to set aside the past and start over again, but you saw how well my meddling turned out."

"Well, I guess that was partly my fault, too," Sirius admitted. "Snape was hostile to Moony, but he didn't completely lose it until he found us in the Shrieking Shack."

"Yes, I think Severus has always been jealous of your closeness to Remus," Dumbledore said, smiling sadly. "It's the same reason why he hated James so much, I think."

And maybe he had been a little jealous of Snape, too, Sirius finally realized. Not that he was attracted to Moony in the way that Snape was, of course, but Remus and James and Peter had been like brothers to him, especially after he had run away from home and been disowned by his parents. He had felt like they were beginning to drift apart, with James and Remus pursuing their own love interests and spending less time with the group. He'd been jealous of Lily, too, but at least she'd been a Gryffindor and hadn't objected--at least, not too much--to James hanging out with his friends. Sirius had been afraid that Snape would take Remus away and cut him off from the Marauders completely. He'd been afraid of losing his friend and brother, so he'd tried to drive Snape away and had instead ended up driving a wedge between himself and Remus, accomplishing the very thing that he had feared in the first place.

"Look, it can't hurt to put this play on, can it?" Sirius asked, feeling a bit less confident about his plan. "I mean, think of it as a morale-booster, not just a means to get the two of them back together. We won the war, but half the castle's still a wreck, and many of the students lost friends and family members. Maybe it would lift everyone's spirits to forget about reality for a little while and watch a lighthearted romantic play."

"Hmm, you do have a point, Sirius," Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "The students have been dealing with things very well for the most part, but I think we could all benefit from a little entertainment to lift our spirits." He smiled, his eyes twinkling with a bit of mischief behind his half-moon glasses. "Well, Remus and Severus probably won't be too thrilled with the idea, but at least it will give them someone to resent besides each other. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend,' as the saying goes."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rehearsals for the play begin, not without a few snags...

"A play, Albus?" McGonagall asked, sounding intrigued as Dumbledore raised the subject at the next morning's staff meeting.

Remus, who had been sitting in silence up until now, looking tired and depressed, smiled and said, "I think it's a good idea. Maybe it will help cheer the students up, and take their minds off things."

Sirius felt a bit guilty, because he knew that he was at least partially responsible for those dark circles beneath his friend's eyes, but at least Remus seemed to be going along with his new plan. Of course, it remained to be seen how enthusiastic he would be once Dumbledore announced the cast list.

"How typical of you, Lupin," Snape sneered. "Whenever something unpleasant happens, you try to sweep it under the rug and forget about it. Yes, I'm sure that the students were traumatized by the war, but the sacrifices of those who died should not be forgotten just so you can sleep a little easier at night."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it!" Remus said angrily.

"Do I?" Snape retorted.

Sirius rolled his eyes heavenward and asked, "Someone please tell me why I'm trying to get these two back together again?" No reply was forthcoming, but he hadn't really expected one. "You don't have to be such a bastard all the time, Snape--that's why no one likes you." Snape, of course, couldn't hear him, and Sirius found that it wasn't much fun insulting someone who was completely oblivious to the insults. He gazed at his star-tipped wand and muttered, "I wonder if I could turn his robes pink?" He smiled nastily for a moment, then sighed. No, that wouldn't be a good idea; Snape would probably blame Remus for it, and then he'd be even farther away from getting them back together.

"You should be proud of me, Death," Sirius said with a wry smile. "I'm learning how to think before I act."

Meanwhile, Dumbledore was playing peacemaker. "I'm sure that Remus wasn't trying to belittle the sacrifices of those who died, Severus," he said placatingly. "Something as trivial as a play won't cause people to forget the friends and loved ones that they lost. But neither is it good for people to mourn the dead indefinitely. They sacrificed themselves to bring peace back to the wizarding world. To live life to the fullest and feel joy once again is a fitting way to honor that sacrifice, I think."

There were nods and murmurs of agreement from the other teachers, except for Snape, who just threw his hands up in disgust and said, "Do as you please, then--the same as you always do."

"Thank you, I shall," Dumbledore said cheerfully.

"Well, I think it's a splendid idea!" Flitwick said excitedly. "How shall we go about holding auditions? Will they be open to all the students, or just the older ones?"

"Well, actually, I was thinking that the faculty would put on a production to entertain the students," Dumbledore replied.

"Oh, what fun!" Flitwick declared, clapping his hands together.

Remus began to look a little alarmed; maybe he had an inkling of what was about to befall him. "But if this is for the students' sake, shouldn't they get to participate?" he said hastily.

"Well, it's just there are only a limited number of roles, and a great many students," Dumbledore said innocently. "I had thought to prevent jealousy and competition by casting the faculty instead."

"If you want to prevent competition, then you ought to do away with the Quidditch matches, too," Snape pointed out in a sour voice.

"We can discuss that at another time, Severus," Dumbledore said pleasantly. "But as things stand right now, the Quidditch season was canceled due to the war, so I think it is all the more important to have some form of festivities to cheer the students up."

"Remus has a point," Madam Pomfrey said. "The children ought to have a chance to participate, too."

"No, no, that would ruin everything!" Sirius exclaimed in alarm--not that anyone could hear him. "Remus and Snape have to be the leads, or this will all be for nothing!"

"Well, perhaps they could help with the sets and costumes," Dumbledore suggested.

However, it was Flitwick who unknowingly came to Sirius's rescue when he said, "Well, why restrict ourselves to just one play? Why not have an entire Talent Day and let the students come up with their own acts? Participation will be voluntary, and those who wish to may put on a play, sing, recite poetry, or whatever tickles their fancy--within the bounds of safety and good taste, of course."

Snape muttered something under his breath about some people's sense of taste being rather questionable, but everyone else ignored him.

"That's a wonderful idea, Filius!" Dumbledore said. "The students can put on their acts first, and the staff play will be the finale."

"How will we divide up the roles?" Flitwick asked. "Will we have auditions or...?"

"I've taken the liberty of assigning the roles myself, to avoid any feelings of ill will in case two teachers wished to compete for the same role," Dumbledore replied. 

"I think we are all mature adults here, Albus," McGonagall said. "But I am willing to leave the casting in your hands, if that is what you wish." The other teachers murmured their consent, and Snape just shrugged indifferently.

"Very well, then," Dumbledore said, pulling a piece of parchment from his pocket and unrolling it. "Minerva shall play the Wicked Stepmother..."

"Is that supposed to be typecasting, Albus?" McGonagall asked sternly, but there was a faint glint of amusement in her eyes.

"Not at all, my dear Minerva," Dumbledore assured her. "It is only that I have utmost faith in your acting abilities."

"If we can just get on with this, so I can get back to performing the work I was hired to do, which if I am not mistaken, is educating the students?" Snape said sarcastically.

"Aurora shall play the Wicked Stepsister," Dumbledore continued.

Professor Sinistra grinned and said, "Fine with me." She was a beautiful woman with long, dark hair and a figure that curved in all the right places, but there was a sinister edge to her beauty, as befit her name: a certain sly glint in her eyes; a knowing, slightly malicious smile; and long fingernails painted blood-red that looked a bit too much like talons for comfort.

"And Hagrid will play the Wicked Stepbrother..."

"Me?" Hagrid asked, startled. "But in the story, isn't it two sisters?"

"I've taken a few liberties with the script," Dumbledore said with a smile. "Don't worry; you'll do fine. Now, moving along, Filius shall play the Fairy Godfather..."

"Oh, splendid!" Flitwick exclaimed happily. "It's a perfect role for a Charms specialist!"

"And Remus shall play Prince Charming..."

"What?!" Remus exclaimed, his eyes widening in horror. "Oh no, I really don't think that's a good idea at all, Albus! I mean, I'm flattered that you thought of me, but I'm not really much of an actor--"

"Oh, I don't know; I thought that you always seemed to play the role of the innocent victim quite well, Lupin," Snape said coolly.

Remus shot a brief glare at him, then said, "Really, Albus, I think you should get someone else for the role."

Dumbledore reached over to pat him reassuringly on the shoulder. "It's just a bit of stage fright, my boy. You'll do fine; I have complete confidence in you."

"But--"

"You did say that you thought this was a good idea, Remus," Sinistra reminded him with a sly grin. "Be a good sport; at least you get to play the hero, not the evil stepsister!"

"But I..." Remus protested weakly, but Dumbledore was already moving on.

"And Severus shall play Cinderella."

"WHAT?!" roared Snape, jumping to his feet so quickly that he knocked over his chair. "Is this some kind of practical joke?!"

"It's not a joke at all, Severus," Dumbledore said mildly.

"It's a great honor, to be given the title role," Sinistra said sweetly, and Snape gave her a murderous glare that would have sent his students running for cover, but Sinistra bore it unflinchingly, her smile not wavering in the slightest.

"Well, I refuse the honor!" Snape snapped.

"Participation in this play is mandatory for the faculty," Dumbledore said firmly. "No exceptions."

"What are you going to do, fire me if I refuse to act in your little play?" Snape demanded incredulously.

"When I said 'mandatory,' I meant it, Severus," Dumbledore said, quietly but sternly. "Though it would be a great inconvenience to have to find a new Potions Master."

For a moment, Sirius was worried that Snape would call the Headmaster's bluff as his head turned to glare furiously at Dumbledore and then Remus and back again. "This is some sort of Gryffindor scheme that the two of you have concocted, to humiliate me by trying to force me to dress up in drag!" he accused.

"I knew nothing about this!" Remus protested. "Albus, I know you mean well, but this is not a good idea!"

"Well, for once you and I agree on something, Lupin," Snape said sourly.

"Then this play has already done some good!" Dumbledore said with satisfaction. "I am well aware of the history of animosity between the two of you..."

"The animosity isn't on my part," Remus muttered under his breath as Snape glared at him.

"However," Dumbledore continued, "you need to learn how to cooperate and work together in spite of your differences if you are both going to continue teaching here."

"Is that what this is all about?" Remus asked. "Albus, we don't need a play in order to work together."

"Indeed," Snape agreed in a cold voice. "Let Lupin teach his classes, and I shall teach mine, and as long as he stays out of my way, I shall tolerate his presence."

"A state of cold war is not good enough," Dumbledore said, his tone of voice growing a little sterner and sharper, as if lecturing a pair of quarreling students. "This subject is not up for debate; you will both perform your assigned roles in the play. Period."

"But--" Snape started to protest.

"As for your objections to 'dressing up in drag,' then I can allay your concerns, Severus," Dumbledore interrupted. "I have altered the script to change the character of Cinderella into a man. We'll have to change the name, too, of course--Cinder Lad, or perhaps, just Cinders."

"That's nearly as humiliating as being forced to wear a dress," Snape said sulkily.

"Yeah, well, you get no sympathy from me, Snivellus, seeing as how I'm wearing a fairy godmother costume for your sake," Sirius grumbled.

"Why not give the character a more dignified name like Ashton?" Pomfrey suggested diplomatically. "And the wicked stepsisters...er, stepsiblings, can shorten it to 'Ash' instead of 'Cinders'."

"That's a wonderful idea, Poppy," Dumbledore agreed. "Oh, and I'd like you to play the Prince's mother. I will direct and narrate the play, and the rest of the staff can play the minor roles like the courtiers and ball guests. Everyone, please pick up your scripts on the way out, and we'll have our first rehearsal after dinner tonight."

Snape grabbed his script and stalked out of the room; Remus trailed after him anxiously.

"Severus..."

"I'd keep my distance if I were you, Lupin," the Potions Master snarled. "I'm in a very bad mood right now, and I'm not sure that I can restrain myself from throwing an Unforgivable Curse your way, even if it would probably get me fired, not to mention arrested."

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about all this, Severus," Remus said.

"I thought you were done with apologies, Lupin," Snape sneered. "I was almost impressed that you showed a little spine back then. I should have known that you'd revert back to your cowardly self."

Instead of taking offense, Remus looked startled and then thoughtful. "Why Severus, that almost sounds like a backhanded compliment."

"You must not get many compliments then, if you can't tell them apart from an insult," Snape retorted, flushing slightly. "And does your apology mean that you did have some part in this plan to humiliate me, after all?"

"No, of course not," Remus replied. "I was only expressing sympathy for the situation that we've both found ourselves in."

"At least you're not Cinderella," Snape said sullenly.

"We can trade if you'd like," Remus said. "The role doesn't make any difference to me; it's just the idea of performing in front of an audience that makes me feel panicky. That's partly why I never tried out for the Quidditch team back in school. I was sure I'd freeze up in the middle of a big game."

"You seem to be under the misapprehension that I care how you feel, Lupin," Snape said coldly.

Remus sighed wearily. "If you hate the idea that much, Severus, you can simply refuse to participate. I'm sure that Albus wouldn't really fire you."

"I can't afford to take the chance, Lupin," Snape replied, glaring at Remus as if it were all his fault. "No one else would be willing to hire a Death Eater, and I'd rather not starve to death. Besides, I can tell when the old man is bluffing, and believe it or not, he's dead serious about this play."

"How on earth did Albus came up with this crazy scheme?" Remus wondered.

"Who knows?" Snape replied curtly. "Maybe he suffered brain damage when his heart stopped during our little charade on the Astronomy Tower." He muttered under his breath, "Maybe I should have killed him for real when I had the chance." Remus smiled, and Snape said acerbically, "Does the idea of my murdering the Headmaster amuse you, Lupin?"

"No, Severus," Remus replied. "I'm smiling because I know that you would never really do such a thing, no matter how angry you were at him."

"You believed it easily enough last summer," Snape said bitterly, and Remus flinched.

"I deserve that, I suppose," Remus said quietly. "But I know better now, and I'll never doubt you again, Severus. And I truly am sorry that I doubted you then, although I know that an apology can never make up for my loss of faith."

He nodded at Snape politely, then turned and headed down another corridor. Snape stared after him broodingly for a moment, then hurried off to the dungeon.

"Well, at least they're speaking to each other," Sirius said hopefully. "That has to be a good sign, right?"

It was a rhetorical question, but Nick suddenly materialized beside him and nodded. "I'm impressed. It wasn't exactly a declaration of love, but it's the longest conversation that they've had since Professor Lupin returned to the school."

"I told you it was a good plan," Sirius said with a confident grin. He hadn't been thrilled about this mission at first, but now that he was convinced it was the right thing to do, he had set his mind on getting Remus and Snape back together, and once Sirius Black set his mind on something, it got done. He was going to force Remus and the greasy git to kiss and make up and live happily ever after, whether they liked it or not.

***

Sirius wasn't quite so confident after watching the first few rehearsals.

"Clean up that mess," Hagrid said, reading his lines from the script. When Snape glared at him murderously, Hagrid added meekly, "That is, if you don' mind, Professor?"

"Yes, dear brother, I live to serve," Snape said sarcastically.

"Please stick to the script, both of you," Dumbledore reminded them patiently, not for the first time.

Sinistra, on the other hand, played her role with great relish. "Fetch my tea, Ash Boy, and be quick about it," she ordered in an imperious voice.

"You seem to be enjoying this a little too much, Aurora," Snape observed sourly.

Sinistra smirked. "I'm merely performing my Professorial duties, Severus."

"Funny, I don't recall 'making a fool of myself onstage' as being one of the duties listed in my contract."

Flitwick also seemed to be enjoying himself, throwing himself into his role with such enthusiasm that Sirius suspected that he'd once dreamed of becoming an actor.

"Too bad I'm not trying to get Flitwick and Sinistra together instead," Sirius muttered to himself.

"I am here to make your dreams come true, dear Ashton!" Flitwick exclaimed dramatically.

"Oh goody, does that mean the play is canceled?"

"Severus, as much as I appreciate your creativity, I would prefer that you stick to the script."

As for Remus, he stammered and stuttered out his lines, sounding more nervous than besotted, but perhaps that wasn't entirely his fault. Snape glared at him during their "love scenes," and spat out his lines in such a bitter, venomous voice that an outside observer would probably have assumed that he was the villain of the play rather than one of the the heroes.

"Are you sure this is going to work, Sirius?" Nick asked doubtfully.

"I am going to make it work, even if I have to cast an Imperius on them," Sirius said determinedly.

It was starting to look like that might be necessary. With a great deal of gentle but persistent chiding, Snape eventually got to the point where he would recite his lines as written (more or less), but with such sarcasm that the play was beginning to sound more like a farce than a romance. It was even worse when they began rehearsing the dancing for the ballroom scene. At first, Snape refused to let Remus touch him, to Remus's obvious hurt and distress. He gave in, very grudgingly, only after Dumbledore reminded him that he had to participate in this play if he wanted to keep his job. Even then, he held Remus at arm's length, keeping as much space between them as possible.

McGonagall, who had choreographed the dance, told them dryly, "Move a little closer together; you're supposed to be in love, after all."

"I'm also supposed to be a heroine from some insipid fairy tale," Snape snarled. "I doubt that any amount of acting will convince anyone that I'm really Cinderella, let alone that I'm in love with Prince Werewolf over here."

"Dance closer anyway," Dumbledore ordered sternly.

Snape sighed heavily, rolled his eyes, and moved an inch or two closer to Remus, regarding his dance partner with obvious distaste. Remus smiled wistfully at Snape, who turned his head to avoid Remus's gaze, suddenly looking rather uncomfortable.

Sirius perked up a bit at that. Could it be that Snape was objecting so loudly in order to cover up the fact that he was actually enjoying being close to Remus? He suddenly recalled a line from some Shakespeare play: "The lady doth protest too much," and Snape sure seemed to be doing a lot of protesting.

Incidentally, the more Snape grumbled and refused to move closer to Remus, the more Dumbledore insisted that they practice the scene, "until you get it right," so they ended up doing quite a bit of dancing. Remus almost seemed to be enjoying himself, his expression wavering back and forth between pleasure--presumably at being so close to his lifemate--and resigned disappointment that Snape was treating this like a loathsome chore to be endured.

Remus, once he relaxed a little, proved to be a competent dancer although he didn't have much experience, at least, not that Sirius could recall from their schoolboy days. But the real shock was Snape: he moved stiffly at first, but once he accepted that Dumbledore wasn't going to let him off the hook until he performed the dance properly, he moved with surprising ease and grace, although he continued to glower at Remus the entire time. Remus stared at Snape with a look of wonder and delight on his face as they waltzed around the room together, and the rest of the cast broke into spontaneous applause when they finished. Remus smiled, and Snape's sallow face turned red, and he hastily pulled away from Remus.

"Well done!" Dumbledore said, beaming at the two of them. "I knew you had it in you!"

"You're suprisingly light on your feet, Severus," McGonagall said with a bemused smile. "If I ever need a dance partner, perhaps I should call on you in the future."

"Please don't," Snape said sourly. "It is not an experience that I intend to repeat after this wretched production is over. And if the Headmaster decides to make mandatory dancing a regular 'duty' for the staff, then I just may take my chances with unemployment, after all. Now, if we're quite done here, I have papers to grade and lessons to plan--unless you consider this play to be more important than giving the students a proper education."

"Yes, that will do for tonight," Dumbledore said pleasantly. "However, don't forget that the costume fittings are scheduled for tomorrow evening."

"I can hardly wait," Snape replied sarcastically.

***

However, the meager progress that had been made during the dance rehearsals was nearly undone by the costume fittings. Flitwick had volunteered to design the costumes, and had recruited a team of his Ravenclaw students to help sew them.

The fittings began without much fuss. Snape's "Cinderella" robes were made of shabby, faded cloth covered with patches, and Snape sneeringly asked, "Did these come from your wardrobe, Lupin?" Remus, of course, just smiled politely and refused to rise to the bait.

The Wicked Stepmother's and Stepbrother's costumes were appropriate for their roles--fine velvet robes richly embroidered with gilt thread, but distastefully gaudy in color and design. Sinistra was delighted with her costume: a slinky black robe slit nearly to the waist, fishnet stockings, and high-heeled black boots.

Dumbledore must have advised Flitwick on the Fairy Godfather costume, because it had obviously been influenced by their dream meeting. It was made of purple velvet rather than blue, and was spangling with a blinding amount of shiny sequins, but it had a pair of gauzy purple butterfly wings attached to the back, and there was a silver star-tipped wand to go along with it.

"Well, perhaps playing Cinderella isn't as bad as it could have been," Snape grudgingly conceded when he saw the Fairy Godfather costume, but he gave the butterfly wings a puzzled and suspicious look. Remus also did a double take when he saw them, and muttered under his breath, "No...it couldn't be..."

"I've charmed the wings to flap, although they won't actually hold my weight," Flitwick said, proudly showing off his creation. "But combined with a levitation spell, it will look like I'm actually flying. Isn't it simply delightful?"

"I can think of a few other adjectives to describe it," Snape muttered.

The costumes for the Queen and courtiers were pretty much what one would expect, fancy dress robes made of velvet and silk, but Flitwick and his Ravenclaws had gone all out on Remus's Prince costume. His robes were made of heavy, bright red velvet trimmed with white fur and covered with so much shining gold embroidery that you almost had to shield your eyes to look at it. There was also a large gold crown studded with rubies (well, actually red glass gems) the size of pigeon eggs.

"It's...er...well...it's certainly very...bright," Remus said weakly, obviously struggling to come up with something complimentary to say.

"I decided to go with red and gold since you're a Gryffindor, Remus," Flitwick said cheerfully.

"That was...very thoughtful of you, Filius," Remus managed, but even he, who was usually polite to a fault, couldn't actually bring himself to thank Flitwick.

Snape snickered at Remus's discomfort, but his amusement vanished as soon as he got a look at his own costume: a robe of smooth, shimmering satin that kept shifting color between a pale powder-blue and a rosy pink. It had long, flowing sleeves and ruffles running down the center of the robe.

"What...on...earth...is...that?" Snape said slowly through gritted teeth, as if it was taking every once of self-control that he had not to cast a Killing Curse on Flitwick.

"It's your costume, Severus," Flitwick replied, smiling nervously and taking a step backwards, prudently putting a little distance between himself and the Potions Master, although that wouldn't be enough to save him if Snape really did lose his temper. Sirius wondered if Hogwarts was about to gain another ghost.

"And pray tell, why is it changing color like that?" Snape asked, in a voice filled with quiet menace.

"Oh, one of my Muggle-born students gave me the idea," Flitwick replied. "She saw a Muggle movie version of Sleeping Beauty where two fairy godmothers are fighting over whether to make Sleeping Beauty's gown blue or pink, and they kept changing the color. Of course, developing the proper charm was a bit tricky, but..."

"It's bad enough that I'm being forced to participate in this exercise in humiliation!"  Snape shouted. "Bad enough that I'm being forced to dance with and feign affection for one of my childhood enemies, who once nearly killed me when we were students! But this--this is the last straw! I will not wear that ridiculous outfit, and you can bloody well go ahead and fire me if you want, Albus!"

As Snape turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, Sinistra commented, "Guess he doesn't like pink."

"What's wrong with pink?" Flitwick asked, a little indignantly.

"Well, it's not a, um, traditionally masculine color," Remus replied tactfully. "And also, when we were children, Sirius and James once charmed his robes to turn pink in front of everyone in the Great Hall, and well...let's just say that it didn't endear him to the color."

"I wish I could've seen that," Sinistra snickered.

"It's not funny," Remus said sternly. "Imagine how traumatic it would be for a child to be embarrassed like that in front of the entire school! Everyone was laughing at him!"

"Oh, not everyone, I'll wager," Sinistra said with a sly smile. "Not you, right, Remus? You seem to care a great deal about Severus's feelings, even if he's not as considerate about yours."

Remus's face turned bright red. "Well, of course I'd never laugh at Sev...at anyone who was humiliated like that," he mumbled. "And I don't blame him for resenting me. My friends made his life miserable, and even though I never joined in, I didn't try to stop them, either. Severus was right to call me a coward."

Sirius had completely forgotten about that prank until Remus brought it up, and he groaned as he realized that he'd inadvertently sabotaged Moony's love life yet again. "But honestly, it's Snape's fault, too, for holding a grudge so long," he grumbled. "That happened back in second year, and he's still harping on it? Get over yourself, Snape! So people laughed at your pink robes; big deal. At least you don't have butterfly wings growing out of your back!"

Meanwhile, Sinistra was telling Remus, "Well, that may have been true back then, but why don't you prove to him that you've changed? I saw you fighting during the final battle; I know that you're not lacking in courage."

Remus laughed ruefully. "It was a lot easier to face the Death Eaters than it is to face Severus!"

"Well, if you have that attitude, you'll never win him back," Sinistra scolded.

"Yeah, that's right!" Sirius agreed emphatically, even though he knew Remus couldn't hear him.

"Wh-what?" Remus stammered, blushing even more deeply.

"Oh, come now, Remus, we all saw the way you were staring at Severus after Albus proved his innocence," Sinistra replied with a little smirk. "It's obvious that you've been carrying a torch for him for quite some time. That's why Albus is putting on this play, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Dumbledore replied innocently. "I just thought it would boost morale, that's all."

"So prove to him that you're not a coward anymore, that you won't give up so easily!" Sinistra told Remus. "Show a little backbone, and don't take 'no' for an answer! You have the perfect opportunity to play out a love scene with him in this production!"

By now, Remus's face was crimson. "Only if he doesn't carry out his threat to quit the play," he pointed out.

"I suppose I can change the robes to just plain blue," Flitwick sighed regretfully. "Although I really did love the shifting colors. And I never got to show Severus his glass slippers--well, more like glass boots, really."

"That might be a good thing," Sinistra said dryly.

"I don't wish to be rude, Filius," McGonagall said. "But somehow glass shoes just don't look quite as dainty in a man's size."

"I always thought the whole things sounded impractical," Sinistra said. "Who walks around in glass shoes, anyway? If they broke, you'd slice your feet open."

"Well, of course I charmed them to be unbreakable," Flitwick said, sounding a little hurt.

"It's obvious that we won't get any rehearsing done tonight," Dumbledore said. "Why don't we take a break and give Severus some time to calm down? And Filius, you can use the time to rethink Severus's costume. I'm sorry to ask this of you; I know that you worked hard on it, but..."

"But without Cinderella...er, I mean, Severus...there's no play," Flitwick said. "And I didn't realize that the color pink would bring back bad memories for him. I don't mind doing the costume over again, but it's only a couple of days until the actual performance."

"Well, just do your best," Dumbledore said, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm sure that everything will work out just fine." He smiled mischievously and winked at no one in particular. "Wouldn't it be nice if we had a fairy godfather of our own to take care of things for us?"

"It certainly would," Flitwick sighed. "All right, let me think it over, and I'll rework the costume tomorrow."

 _Of course!_ Sirius thought, prodded by Dumbledore's not-so-subtle hint. _This is exactly the sort of thing that fairy magic is made for!_ Once everyone had left the room, Sirius examined the costume with a critical eye. Even without the pink, it was a bit too fancy and frilly for someone like Snape. However, Sirius wasn't a fashion designer, and he wasn't sure what would be right for Snape, other than maybe the color black. He wondered if he actually had to envision the costume in his mind, or if the fairy magic would do the work for him.

Well, there was only one way to find out. Sirius pointed his wand at the pink and blue costume, and a spray of glittering sparks shot out and enveloped it, then pulled away to reveal robes of sleek black velvet, and a black cloak cut to resemble a bird's wings. There was also a black half-mask shaped like a hawk's face with a large hooked beak.

"Hmm, a bit sinister-looking, but I must admit, it suits Snape," Sirius said. "And the beak will cover up his nose."

However, the fairy sparks weren't done yet. They swirled around the glass boots and changed them into soft black suede, and swirled once more around empty air, then vanished. As the sparks disappeared, a small object fell to the floor with a musical tinkle.

Sirius picked it up, and saw that it was a glass bracelet in the shape of a coiled serpent. "Perfect for a Slytherin like Snape," he said with a smile. He glanced over at the Prince's red and gold costume, and said, "Let's see if I can help out Moony, too, while I'm at it." He flicked his wand and the glittering sparks reappeared once more to work their magic on the second outfit. When they were done, the gaudy red robes had been transformed into a more quiet and subtle forest-green, and the equally gaudy crown had been replaced by a golden circlet studded with tastefully small emeralds and rubies--a foreshadowing of the union between Slytherin and Gryffindor, or maybe just wishful thinking on the wand's part.

Sirius supposed that he had better wish for that union, too, unless he wanted to remain stuck as a fairy godfather for the rest of his un-life. So he settled down to wait for the others to discover the new costumes the next day, muttering, "This had better meet with your approval, Snape, or I'll turn your entire wardrobe pink!"

***

It was a good thing he stuck around, because he'd forgotten what Death had told him, that fairy magic wears off at the stroke of midnight, so he had to renew his spells, and would have to keep renewing them until the play was over. But it was a small price to pay to make Remus happy and get himself out of Limbo, not to mention this stupid fairy outfit.

When Flitwick came in the next morning to work on the costume, he exclaimed in surprise at what he found and then excitedly summoned the rest of the staff.

"Marvelous job, Filius!" Dumbledore praised. "I knew you could do it!"

"But I didn't do it!" Flitwick said. "I came in this morning, and the two costumes had already been changed! Did you do this, Severus?"

"Of course not," Snape snorted. "I have better things to do with my time than play seamstress." He examined his costume and grudgingly conceded, "I must admit that this is an improvement on the original." He tapped the beak of the mask with one finger and added, "Although I do wonder if our mysterious costume-maker is mocking me."

"No, I'm not, you ungrateful git!" Sirius said indignantly.

"I think it's a splendid costume!" Remus declared. "And the mask is a brilliant idea--I think we should change the script to make the dance a masked ball, Albus. I always thought that was a flaw in the original story, that the Prince couldn't recognize the face of his true love, even if she was clad in rags instead of her ball finery. This way, he has a good excuse to use the glass slipper--or in this case, bracelet--to find his beloved."

"Your costume was changed, too, Remus," Sinistra observed.

"I rather like it," Remus replied with a grin, then said apologetically to Flitwick, "Meaning no offense, Filius."

"None taken," Flitwick replied. "I must admit, this suits you much better. But I still don't know who did all this."

All of the teachers stated that they knew nothing about it, and Flitwick shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I suppose it will have to remain a mystery. Maybe the house-elves heard all the commotion and decided to help us out."

"Or maybe we do have a fairy godfather, after all," Dumbledore said with a wink.

"It was just the curry...wasn't it?" Remus muttered doubtfully to himself.

***

The final rehearsal went reasonably well: everyone remembered their lines, and Snape even seemed just a tiny bit less hostile to Remus during their scenes together, and he even blushed slightly when Remus as the Prince got down on one knee to propose marriage, although he quickly scowled to cover it up.

"This may just work, after all," said Nick, who had joined Sirius to watch the rehearsal.

"Of course it will work!" Sirius said, almost desperately. "It has to work, because if it doesn't, I'm all out of ideas."

Because he was worried, Sirius slipped into Remus's dreams that night to offer him a little encouragement. Remus was wearing his Prince costume, and was standing alone in the middle of an empty ballroom, looking pensive.

"Hey, Moony!"

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed. "Have you come to cheer me up again?"

"Of course," Sirius replied. "But why are you so glum?"

"I've been enjoying the rehearsals," Remus said. "Being near Severus, even being able to hold him in my arms and dance with him--it's been wonderful. But I'm sad that it will be over soon, and he'll go back to ignoring me."

"Then don't let that happen!" Sirius said, grabbing his friend by the shoulders and shaking him for emphasis. "You've got to be a man, Moony! Stand up and tell him how you feel about him!"

"But what if he rejects me?" Remus protested.

"So what!" Sirius replied. "You won't be any worse off than you are now, and who knows, maybe Snape will surprise you. You'll never know unless you try. And if he rejects you, well then, you just keep on trying till you get it through his thick skull that you love him!"

Remus smiled at him wonderingly. "You really are trying to help me, aren't you, Padfoot? I'm sorry about what I said the last time."

"No, you were right," Sirius admitted. "I was a selfish jerk. But now I understand what I did wrong, and I really want to set things right. I'm sorry, Moony--for the prank, and for everything else I did that hurt you."

"I forgive you, Padfoot," Remus said, embracing him. "It was my fault, too, for being such a coward in the past. I'll try to be braver from now on." He pulled back and smiled at Sirius. "And I'm glad that I got this chance to talk to you, even if it's only in a dream."

"Dreams can come true, Moony--remember that," Sirius said, and hugged his friend one more time before leaving to visit Snape's dreams.

He found the Potions Master in the rehearsal room, staring broodingly at his costume for the ball. "Black," Snape said, looking a little startled. "You're here again, and still in that ridiculous get-up. I know it's not indigestion this time, because the roast chicken at dinner was perfectly edible and not at all spicy."

"Maybe I'm your subconscious," Sirius suggested sarcastically, knowing that Snape was never going to believe the truth.

"Oh?" Snape asked coolly. "And what does my subconscious wish to tell me this time?"

"You're being given a second chance with Remus, Snape," Sirius replied. "Don't screw it up this time."

"I don't care about the wolf," Snape said gruffly, turning away to fiddle with the costume distractedly.

"That's a lie and you know it!" Sirius retorted. "You couldn't even look me in the eye when you said that!" From the way Snape flinched, Sirius knew that his remark had struck home.

"If you weren't dead, Black, I'd suspect that you were the one behind this plan to humiliate me," Snape snarled.

"I'm not trying to humiliate you, I'm trying to get you back together with Remus, you stubborn git!" Sirius exclaimed in exasperation. "A part of you must want that, too, or you would have refused to take part in the play!"

"I had no choice!" Snape shouted. "The old man threatened to fire me!"

"Surely you don't really think that he'd go through with it?" Sirius asked. He wasn't entirely sure himself. Dumbledore had seemed serious at the time, but he was also very fond of the slimy git for some reason. Sirius suspected that he would have temporarily dismissed Snape so that he wouldn't have broken his word, but he would probably have hired him back eventually.

"I couldn't take that chance," Snape replied bitterly. "I could probably manage to make a living brewing potions under an assumed name, but...Hogwarts is my home. It's the only place where I really belong, the only place where I'm accepted." There was such bitterness and loneliness in his voice that Sirius began to feel sorry for him, until Snape added sourly, "Even if Dumbledore always favors the Gryffindors over me."

Sirius sighed. "He's not doing this to favor Remus over you, Snape. He wants to make both of you happy. You know deep down, even if you don't want to admit it, that Remus doesn't get any pleasure out of seeing you humiliated. He never did. So if Dumbledore is helping Remus, there can be only one reason behind it: to help Remus get back together with his true love, who for some reason I cannot fathom, happens to be you."

"Get out of here, Black!" Snape shouted, and Sirius felt the force of Snape's will, no doubt enhanced by his Occlumency, beginning to push him out of the dream.

"Wait, Snape!" Sirius shouted. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry about the prank--I was a stupid git and I could have gotten you killed, and I hurt Remus in the process! I nearly ruined my friendship with him because I was jealous of you!"

The pressure suddenly ceased, and Snape leaned in close and hissed, "I knew it! I knew that you were in love with him, too!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Look, I love Remus like a brother, but I'm not _in_ love with him, okay? I'm totally straight! It's just that Remus and James and Peter were the only family I had after mine disowned me, and I didn't want to lose one of my brothers to you."

"You and Lupin really never...?" Snape asked uncertainly.

"Never!" Sirius said, shuddering. "The very idea is...eww! I mean, I don't think that being gay is disgusting or anything, but I don't like guys that way, and even if I did, the thought of being with Remus...it's just too incestuous. And I'm sure that Remus feels the same way about me."

"Oh," Snape said, sounding rather deflated, as if a long-held belief of his had just been shattered.

"Is that what you were thinking all this time?" Sirius laughed. "I promise, there was never anything romantic between me and Remus."

"Well, he's still a coward," Snape said defensively.

"And if he can prove to you that he's changed, will you take him back?" Sirius asked. "Or would you rather be lonely and miserable for the rest of your life?" Snape hesitated, and Sirius added slyly, "I know you've been enjoying the dance rehearsals with Remus."

"I have not!" Snape snapped, but his sallow face turned bright red.

"Look, is there anyone else better suited to you?" Sirius persisted. "He's handsome, intelligent, and loyal."

"So loyal that he never once stood up for me in school," Snape muttered.

"All right, maybe he didn't show it in the best way back then," Sirius said impatiently. "But he's loved you since we were all kids, and he's never stopped. And he has stood up for you since then, to the other Order members, and to the teachers and students here whenever anyone says anything the least bit disparaging about you. Merlin knows when I was alive, I got sick of hearing him tell me about how brave you were, and how much you'd sacrificed for the Order."

"I'd like to believe that," Snape whispered, more to himself than to Sirius. "But I won't be made a fool of again."

"Being made a fool of isn't pleasant, but it's hardly fatal, Snape. We've all been made fools of at one time or another--hell, look at me now!"

"I do agree that you look like a fool, Black," Snape said, sounding more like his usual self. "But the fact that you're dead is hardly an assurance that it's not a fatal experience."

"Very amusing, Snape," Sirius said sarcastically. "But we both know that it's not this fairy godfather costume that killed me. And Remus doesn't want to make a fool of you, anyway. If he lays his heart on the line for you, will you do the same?"

Snape hesitated then sighed wearily. "If I say that I'll think about it, will you get out of my dream and let me get some sleep?" Without waiting for an answer, Snape pushed Sirius out of the dream, and he found himself back in the Potions Master's bedroom.

"Well, I suppose that's the most I can get out of him for now," Sirius sighed, then smiled. It was something of a miracle that Snape had conceded even that much, so maybe things would turn out happily ever after, after all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of the production arrives, but will Sirius's plan actually work?

The day of the production finally arrived, and the students, at least, were having a grand time. Flitwick found time outside of the play rehearsals to also coach the school choir, and informal groups of students had banded together to put on plays, sing songs, juggle, and do acrobatics. A pair of Gryffindor boys even did a comedy routine.

However, Snape and Remus saw none of it, because they were locked up in their rooms, nervously pacing back and forth, over and over again until Sirius thought that they'd wear a path down in the carpets. Remus kept going over his lines, and every now and then he'd take a little velvet-covered box out of his pocket and mutter, "You're a Gryffindor; you can do this! Just be brave!"

Sirius grinned. It looked like Moony would be fine; now it was time to check up on Snape. It was about an hour before showtime, and the Slytherin had broken out into a nervous sweat and decided to take a shower. Sirius had no desire to see Snape naked, and was about to leave when he got a glimpse of the bottle of shampoo sitting on a small shelf on the shower wall. It was a medicinal Muggle brand, probably bought to combat the greasiness of Snape's hair, although it didn't seem to be very effective, judging by the results.

"So you do care about how you look, after all, eh Snape?" Sirius chuckled. "And I doubt that you're trying to make yourself pretty for Dumbledore or McGonagall's sake! All right then, your fairy godfather will help you out a bit, for Moony's sake!" He waved his wand and a cloud of glittering sparks descended on the shampoo bottle.

Snape didn't notice anything out of the ordinary until he opened the bottle and poured out the shampoo, which smelled sweet and flowery. "Bloody hell!" he exclaimed. "Someone switched my shampoo?" He looked around suspiciously and muttered, "If Black were still alive, I'd suspect him of pulling some idiot prank...but I suppose he's just on my mind because of that dream." He examined the shampoo more closely, then said, "Well, it seems to be normal shampoo, although I still don't know how it got here. I wonder if the bloody house-elves switched it?" He sighed irritably and muttered, "Well, I'll just have to use it; I don't have time to go out and buy another bottle right now, but I'm going to have a little talk with the elves after this play is over!"

After Snape had washed and dried his hair, it turned out suprisingly sleek and shiny and not at all greasy. "Hmm," Snape said thoughtfully, gazing at himself in the mirror as he combed his hair. "Maybe I will stick with this brand, after all." Then he scowled at himself and said, "What am I thinking?! It's not as if clean hair is going to shrink my nose or magically make me more attractive."

"Remus finds you attractive the way you are, nose and all," Sirius told him, and Snape frowned and glanced around the room.

"I thought I heard...no, it must be my imagination," he muttered. "Why the hell have I been dreaming about Sirius Black, anyway?!" Then he quickly got dressed and hurried down to the Great Hall as Sirius followed.

***

A stage had been magically constructed at the front of the Great Hall, where the head table normally was. The small antechamber behind it served as a backstage area and dressing room; screens had been set up to give the men and women some privacy for costume changes.

All the students had assembled in the Hall, and appeared to be eagerly awaiting the performance. Dumbledore walked out onto the stage and said, "Welcome, students, to the faculty's presentation of Cinderella!" There was enthusiastic applause, which Dumbledore accepted with a polite bow, and then he began the narration.

"Once upon a time, there was a young boy of noble birth called Ashton. Tragically, his mother died young, and his loving father took a second wife, a widow with two children of her own, so that his son might have a mother. She pretended to treat Ashton kindly at first, but as soon as Ashton's father died of an untimely illness, the Wicked Stepmother showed her true colors."

The curtain rose to reveal McGonagall, Sinistra, Hagrid, and Snape on the stage, in "Cinderella's" home. McGonagall looked appropriately haughty and arrogant, and the male students whistled and cheered at the sight of Sinistra in her slinky black gown. All the students giggled at the sight of Hagrid, who looked silly and sheepish in his fancy dress robes, and then their mouths fell open in shock when they spotted Snape clad in his faded, patched robes, down on his hands and knees, scrubbing the floor with a sour look on his face.

"The Stepmother took control of the family fortune," Dumbledore continued. "And she and her children treated poor Ashton like a servant, forcing him to do all the cooking and cleaning, and to wait on them hand and foot. They gave him only rags to wear, and he was not even allowed a bed to sleep on, but instead was forced to sleep on the hearth, where he was covered with soot and ashes from the fireplace."

"Ashton?" Sinistra laughed mockingly. "I think I'll call you Ash Boy instead; it suits him better, don't you think, dear brother?"

"Er...yeah," Hagrid agreed nervously as Snape glared at him. "A filthy Ash Boy, all covered in soot." And then, in a loud whisper that carried throughout the hall, he added, "Sorry, Professor, yeh know I don' really mean it, right?"

"Shut up and stick to the script, you oaf," Snape hissed back at him.

The audience burst into laughter, and over at the Gryffindor table, Sirius heard Ginny say, "They turned the play into a comedy! How clever!"

"I'm not sure that the comedy was intentional," Hermione replied doubtfully.

"Boy, I never knew that Professor Sinistra was so hot!" Ron blurted out. Hermione glared at him, and he added hastily, "Er...but not as hot as you?"

"Oh, just keep your mouth shut before you stick your foot any farther into it!" she snapped, then turned back to watch the play.

"I wonder how Dumbledore convinced Snape to act in this play?" Harry wondered.

"Probably blackmail," Hermione replied matter-of-factly. "There's no way that he'd ever do this voluntarily."

"Pretty close," Sirius acknowledged. "Dumbledore threatened to fire him." None of the Gryffindors could hear him, of course, but Luna Lovegood cast a curious glance his way from the Ravenclaw table.

Back on the stage, the Stepmother and stepsiblings continued to bully and harass Snape. The students laughed at these antics at first, but turned pale and quickly fell silent when Snape cast murderous looks their way.

"I'm taking points off anyone who laughs at me once this farce is over," he muttered sullenly under his breath.

The curtain came down for a quick scene change, then rose again to reveal Madam Pomfrey sitting on a throne. "Meanwhile," Dumbledore said, "the Queen summoned her son, Prince Charming, to the throne room."

Remus walked onto the stage, bowed, and said, "You summoned me, my lady Mother?"

"I'm not getting any younger, Charming," Pomfrey informed him bluntly. "Someday soon you will be King, and it's about time for you to settle down and get married."

"But Mother, I don't know anyone that I wish to marry," Remus protested.

"I've taken care of all that," Pomfrey assured him. "I will hold a great ball, to which every eligible young man and maiden in the kingdom shall be invited. Surely you can find someone who fits your fancy among them."

"Um...why are you inviting both men and women, Mother?" Remus asked timidly.

"Why, to give you more options to choose from, of course," Pomfrey replied as the audience giggled. "Do you think it's escaped my notice that handsome young men attract your attention far more than pretty young girls?" Remus blushed, and the audience laughed again.

"You must do your duty, my son, but I want you to be happy," Pomfrey continued. "I don't care whether you marry a man or a woman, but I expect you to choose a bride or a groom from among the ball guests. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Mother," Remus replied meekly.

The curtain fell and rose up again on the residence of Ashton and his family. A messenger, played by Filch, delivered an invitation to the Prince's ball.

"This is our chance!" McGonagall said triumphantly. "If one of you marries the Prince, then we can all live in luxury for the rest of our lives!"

"What about me, Stepmother?" Snape asked sourly. "The invitation is addressed to all the young men and women of the household."

"You?" McGonagall scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous! You can't possibly attend a ball in those rags! Now get to work on your brother's and sister's robes! Everything must be perfect for the ball!"

After the three of them left for the ball, Snape said, "Oh, woe is me. I wish I could attend the ball, too." Sirius knew that the directions in the script said that the lines were to be spoken "wistfully," but Snape said them with such acid and cutting sarcasm that the audience couldn't help but laugh, even with the threat of Snape glaring at them and silently threatening detention and lost points.

"Oh, but you shall, my boy!" Flitwick declared dramatically as he floated down onto the stage, to the sound of more laughter. "I am here to make your dreams come true, dear Ashton!"

"And just who are you?" Snape asked.

"Why, your fairy godfather, of course!"

"This sounds suspiciously familiar," Snape muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Flitwick asked, looking puzzled.

"I said, I can't go to the ball in these rags," Snape replied, returning to the scripted lines.

"Oh, that's no problem," Flitwick said, waving his wand, and a moment later, Snape was clad in the black robes and mask that Sirius had created. "And here, a present from me." He slipped the glass serpent bracelet onto Snape's wrist.

"And how I am supposed to get there?" Snape demanded, a bit more imperiously than the scripted role called for. "The castle is too far away for me to walk there."

"That is no problem at all, my dear boy," Flitwick replied. "Just fetch me a pumpkin from the garden, a mouse, and a lizard." He transformed the pumpkin into a carriage, the mouse into a Thestral, and the lizard into a coachman--or rather, coachwoman, since she was played by Madam Hooch. She smiled and bowed, holding the carriage door open for Snape, who stepped into it with a resigned scowl on his face.

"Just remember that the spell will only last until the clock strikes midnight!" Flitwick called out to Snape as the Thestral-pulled carriage rose into the air.

The carriage soared over the heads of the students and flew out of the Great Hall, to the applause of the crowd. The curtain fell, and Dumbledore announced a brief intermission, during which the students drank pumpkin juice and chattered about what a great play this was.

"Snape is hilarious!" one of the young Slytherins laughed. "Who'd have thought he could be such a great actor?"

"He was a spy, you idiot; of course he can act," Theodore Nott said scornfully. "But I don't think that he's been doing much acting up there. And I wouldn't want to be in your shoes after the play is over, if he happened to notice that you were laughing at him." The other Slytherin gulped and turned pale, and slipped so far down in his seat that he nearly vanished under the table.

Sirius chuckled to himself. He had to admit that he was impressed that Snape had the students so cowed that he could terrify them by reputation even when he wasn't around. Maybe if--when--he got back together with Remus, he would soften up a little. But then again, maybe not.

The second act began in the ballroom, with the Prince dancing with his potential mates. Everyone was dressed in formal robes or fancy gowns and small masks that mostly covered just the eyes, leaving little doubt as to the wearer's identity. Sinistra vamped up her role to the hilt, smiling at Remus in such a predatory manner that he looked like he wanted to flee in terror, and Sirius wasn't sure that it was all acting. Then he danced with Hagrid, who stepped on his foot--an action that wasn't in the stage directions.

"Oops, sorry, Remus--I mean, Yer Highness," Hagrid apologized.

"Don't worry, it's nothing," Remus said politely, although he was wincing in pain, and was still limping slightly after the dance ended. His next partner was Trelawney, who informed him in an ominous voice, "You are under a dark cloud, Highness. I sense that your life is in grave danger."

"My feet, perhaps, but surely not my life," Remus replied lightly, but his eyes began to dart about the stage restlessly, as if seeking an avenue of escape.

Just then, Snape appeared at the top of the staircase leading down to the ballroom and slowly descended it, his cloak billowing out behind him with a dramatic flourish.

"Oh!" Remus gasped, stopping dead in his tracks, causing Trelawney to stumble, and murmurs of awe began to ripple not just through the ball guests as scripted, but in the audience as well. They had rehearsed this scene several times, but in full costume, with the stage lights upon him, Snape seemed remarkably striking, and he seemed to flow rather than walk down the stairs with a smooth, easy grace.

Remus abandoned his current partner and pushed his way through the crowd over to the cloaked figure, moving as if in a trance, his eyes never once leaving Snape's face.

"May I have this dance?" he whispered, holding his out his hand.

Snape hesitated, then placed his hand in Remus's and said, "You may," his voice sounding a little unsteady and lacking its customary bitterness for the first time this night.

They danced together with such perfect harmony and unison that it seemed like they had been rehearsing for months rather than days, and Snape didn't object or mutter even one sarcastic comment when Remus pulled him closer as they danced.

"Let's go for a walk in the garden," Remus suggested breathlessly when the music ended, and Snape nodded mutely, although the script called for a verbal acknowledgment. They moved downstage, to a small corner that had been set up as the palace garden and sat down on a bench as Remus removed his mask. "I am Prince Charming," he said.

"Yes, the crown on your head sort of gave that away," Snape replied dryly, recovering some of his sarcasm.

"Yes, I suppose it does," Remus laughed. "But you have the better of me, good sir, for I do not think that I have ever seen you at court before."

"And how would you know, when you have not seen my face?" Snape replied.

"If I had met you before, I am sure I would never forget you, even if your face were covered," Remus whispered, laying his hand over Snape's, and the Potions Master blushed. "Please, will you let me see your face?"

"As Your Highness wishes," Snape whispered hoarsely, but as Remus lifted his hands to remove the mask, the deep sound of a bell tolling echoed through the hall. "It's midnight!" Snape exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "I must go!"

"Wait!" Remus cried, grabbing Snape's wrist. "At least tell me your name first!"

The glass bracelet slipped off, remaining behind in Remus's hand as Snape jerked his arm free and fled off the stage. The Queen and several courtiers rushed into the garden a moment later.

"Your Highness, what happened?" one of them asked.

"I do not know his name or face, but I have found my true love!" Remus announced. "Mother, I have made my choice!" He held up the bracelet. "I will marry no one but the man whose wrist will fit this bracelet, and I will search throughout the entire kingdom to find him if I must!"

The curtain fell to allow another scene change, and Dumbledore said, "So the Prince searched throughout the land to find the mysterious man who had captured his heart, until finally he arrived at the village where Ashton lived..."

The curtain rose on Ashton's home. Snape was clad in his soot-smeared rags once again, but he carried himself with a new air of dignity, and his hair, Sirius was pleased to notice, was still sleek and shiny. It had been pulled back in a neat tail to keep it out of his face as he swept the floors, humming softly under his breath--it was the same tune that he and Remus had danced to.

"Mother, the Prince is here, in our village!" Sinistra said excitedly. "He's going to each house and asking every single young man to try on the glass bracelet that the stranger left behind at the ball!"

McGonagall frowned. "I wonder who that stranger was and why he fled even though he captured the Prince's heart. Well, no matter--it gives you two a chance to win the Prince's hand. Hurry and make yourselves presentable, my children. Even though the Prince is seeking a man, perhaps you can charm him with your lovely face and figure, my daughter."

"Fat chance," Snape muttered, and the audience giggled as McGonagall turned to glare at him. "Make yourself scarce, Ash, and do not disgrace us with your presence! The Prince will hardly want to lay eyes on such a dirty, ragged creature as yourself."

Snape retreated into a corner next to the fireplace, his gray robes blending into the shadows. A knock sounded at the door, and McGonagall quickly opened it and stepped aside to let the Prince and two courtiers (Sprout and Vector) in.

"Is there a young man in this household, madam?" Remus asked.

"Yes, my dear son," McGonagall said, motioning for Hagrid to step forward.

"I remember you--or rather, my feet do," Remus said with a smile as the audience laughed. "But you may try on the bracelet if you wish."

The bracelet, of course, was much too small to fit on Hagrid's huge wrist. "But I can wear it as a ring, see?" he said, slipping it over one of his fingers.

"That's very nice, but I'm afraid you're not the one," Remus said, firmly but politely as he took the bracelet back.

"May I try it, Your Highness?" Sinistra purred, swaying her hips seductively as she stalked towards him.

Remus took a hasty step back and replied, "I am sorry, Miss, but I am seeking a man, which you most obviously are not."

"But how do you know that the hawk-masked stranger was a man?" Sinistra countered. "His face was covered by the mask, and his body was concealed by a cloak and loose robes. 'He' could have been a woman in disguise."

"I seriously doubt that, but if you insist, you may try on the bracelet," Remus sighed. Sinistra eagerly donned it, but it was far too big for her wrist, sliding down to her elbow.

"Well, you clearly are not the one, either," Remus said with obvious relief, taking the bracelet back from a pouting Sinistra. "Are there any other sons in this household?"

"No, there are not," McGonagall replied, but then Snape stepped forward and asked quietly, "May I try it on, please?"

McGonagall shot a furious glare at him and said, "He is no one; just the servant boy. He cannot possibly be the one that Your Highness seeks."

"Nevertheless, I declared that every eligible young man in the country may try on the bracelet, and a prince must keep his word," Remus said, gazing intently into Snape's eyes. "Please try it on, good sir."

Snape slipped on the bracelet and it fit perfectly, the glass serpent coiling itself a little more tightly to be sure that it fit snugly on his wrist.

"I knew it!" Remus cried joyfully. "I suspected it was you when I heard your voice, and when I gazed into your eyes, I was sure that you were the one I met at the ball that night!" He went down on one knee before Snape, took his hand, and gazed up at him adoringly.

"Wow, Lupin is a really good actor!" Ron whispered to his friends at the Gryffindor table. "I can almost believe that he's actually in love with the greasy git!"

"I'm not so sure that he's acting..." Hermione murmured thoughtfully.

"I fell in love with you at first sight," Remus said. "Will you consent to marry me and become my consort?"

"How can a servant boy in dirty rags marry a prince?" Sinistra screeched spitefully.

That was Flitwick's cue to make his entrance and transform Snape's clothing, but Sirius grinned and flew onto the stage, saying, "Sorry, but I'll take it from here!" He waved his wand and a cloud of glitter fell down onto Snape as Flitwick and the cast stared in amazement.

"Are you doing this?" Remus whispered to Flitwick, who had just emerged from the backstage entrance.

Flitwick shook his head, his eyes wide with amazement. "I haven't cast a single spell yet," he replied.

The fairy magic transformed Snape's ragged, ash-stained robes into an elegant tunic of charcoal-gray velvet with long sleeves and a high collar, and a long row of buttons running down the center from throat to waist. The sleeves of the tunic were slashed to reveal a white silk shirt beneath it, with long, lacey cuffs that spilled out of the tunic's sleeves to flow over Snape's wrists. The magic had also created close-fitting striped gray trousers to match the tunic, and knee-high boots of black suede. Sirius had always thought of gray as a rather drab color, but it seemed to suit Snape, and clad in flattering clothing with his hair clean and sleek for once, his nose somehow seemed to fit his face better, looking more aquiline and aristocratic than ugly or comical. Sirius wasn't really a good judge of such things, but Snape looked almost handsome.

Remus certainly seemed to think so; he stared at Snape with an entranced look on his face for several moments, until Dumbledore discreetly cleared his throat to remind him that he had the next line.

"I would love you whether you were clad in rags or fine silks and velvets," Remus said, with heartfelt sincerity. "Be you prince or pauper, there is no one else in this world that I wish to marry!"

"As it happens," Snape said smoothly, "I am not a servant. My name is Ashton, and I am the son of the late lord of this estate."

"Then that means you are of noble blood, so I trust there are no more objections to our marriage?" Remus said, turning to smile sweetly at McGonagall, who spluttered and fumed in outrage. Turning back to Snape, Remus said, "So will you marry me, my dear Ashton?"

Snape hesitated; there was a look of pain and longing on his face, and Sirius didn't need to be a Legilimens to know that he was wishing that Remus was proposing to him for real and not as part of an act. But finally he replied, "I will."

The original script had called for a kiss, but Snape had made it very clear during rehearsals that it was not going to happen. So the revised play ended with Ashton's acceptance of the Prince's proposal, and Dumbledore said, "So the Prince married his true love, and Ashton ruled by his side as his consort, and they both lived happily ever after."

The audience applauded and the curtain started to fall, but Remus, still kneeling on the stage floor, cried out, "Wait!"

Dumbledore halted the curtain with a flick of his wand and said, "Yes, Remus? Is there something you wish to say?" The old wizard smiled, and there was a knowing twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes," Remus replied firmly. "I would like to announce here, in front of everyone, that I am in love with Severus Snape."

A startled uproar arose from the audience, and a horrified Ron said, "This is still part of the play...right?"

"Well, Remus said he was gay, but I never imagined it was Snape that he fancied," Harry muttered.

"Lupin, have you lost your mind?!" Snape exclaimed. "If this is some sort of practical joke, I'm going to kill you!"

"I'm quite sane and it's no joke," Remus said earnestly. "I love you, Severus. I've loved you since we were fifteen, and I have never stopped loving you. I was a fool to ever let you go, and I'm not going to make that mistake again."

"What about Miss Tonks?" Snape asked suspiciously.

"As I said before, I never loved her," Remus replied. "I let the others pressure me into dating her for a brief time, which was cowardly and despicable, I admit, but it never went beyond holding hands and the occasional good night kiss." Snape scowled, and Remus hastily added, "On the cheek, of course."

"And Miss Tonks was willing to settle for that?" Snape asked skeptically.

Remus smiled sheepishly and replied, "I managed to convince her that I was saving myself for marriage."

Snape tried to keep scowling, but he couldn't hold back a little snort of laughter. "The silly girl probably thought that was very romantic!"

"She did," Remus said, looking relieved. "But in her defense, she was bewitched at the time. I promise, Severus, there is nothing between Tonks and myself now but friendship--very platonic friendship, I assure you."

"Your friends didn't approve of me before," Snape reminded him. "What makes you think that things will be different this time around?"

" _I_ will be different this time around," Remus said firmly. "I'm sure that Molly and Harry and my other friends will be shocked to hear the news." He grinned and winked at Harry, who was indeed looking very stunned. "But I believe that they will come around, once they get over the initial shock."

"And if they don't?" Snape demanded.

"Then I would be very sad to lose their friendship," Remus replied quietly. "But I will not give you up for their sake--not this time. That is why I have made this public declaration, to prove to you that I won't go back on my word and let you down as I have in the past." He smiled up at Snape. "If you wish, I will even take out an ad in the Daily Prophet and announce to the entire wizarding world how I feel about you!"

"I doubt that will be necessary," Snape said, glancing at the gossiping students. "I am sure that the owls will be busy soon, carrying news of your temporary insanity home to the students' families and friends, and eventually Rita Skeeter will hear of it, probably sooner rather than later. You do realize, Lupin, that you will likely be triply ostracized now, for being a werewolf, for being homosexual, and for declaring your love for a pardoned Death Eater?"

"I don't care," Remus said, quietly but firmly. "I love you, Severus, and even if you reject me, I will never take any lover but you. However..." He took a deep breath and reached into his pocket, pulling out the small velvet-covered box that Sirius had seen earlier in his quarters. "I am hoping that you won't reject me." He opened the jewelry box, to reveal a small gold ring shaped like a coiled serpent--a miniature replica of the glass bracelet that Snape was wearing. "Severus Snape, will you marry me?"

A hush fell over the room, and the entire school seemed to collectively hold their breath; Sirius was holding _his_ breath even though he didn't need to breathe. Nick had appeared beside him, and was clasping his hands together, as if praying for a positive response.

"I always thought that Cinderella was a stupid story," Snape finally said. "Only an idiot would marry a woman--or a man--that he's known for only a few hours at most. But you're even more of an idiot, Lupin, since you know exactly who and what I am." Remus began to look crestfallen, anticipating a rejection, but then Snape grinned and said, "So how can I turn down the only person in the wizarding world who's stupid enough to want to marry me?"

"Is that a 'yes'?" Remus asked hopefully.

"Yes, I will marry you, you idiot werewolf," Snape said gruffly.

His hands trembling, Remus slipped the gold ring onto Snape's finger, then jumped up and flung his arms around Snape and kissed him soundly on the mouth as half of the room erupted into cheers and applause. The other half was still sitting in stunned silence.

Sirius smiled fondly at his friend. "Good luck, Moony; I hope you'll be happy," he said. "I even wish you happiness, Snape, although I know you wouldn't thank me for it, even if you knew that I was the one who got you together with your true love."

Suddenly Death was standing in front of him, smiling at him approvingly. "You did a good job, Sirius," she told him, and he felt warmed by her praise, even though he'd been furious at her the last time they had spoken.

"Yeah, well, you were right about Snape and Moony," he admitted. "But don't rub it in, okay?"

Death laughed merrily and said, "I would never be so petty. You fulfilled your mission, Sirius, so now I will keep my promise. Are you ready to move on?"

"I am, but I have a favor to ask," Sirius replied. "I have a friend that I'd like to take with me." He motioned to Nick, who stepped forward hesitantly.

"Perhaps you don't remember me, Lady Death..." he started to say.

"Of course I do, Sir Nicholas," Death said with a smile. "I never forget a face, and I especially remember the ones who stay behind."

"I was afraid of death," Nick said. "But now it doesn't seem so bad, compared to a monotonous existence that never changes. The students come and go, they age and grow up, fall in love and marry, have children of their own, and eventually die. But I remain the same, and I am weary. I am not dead, but neither am I truly alive. I cannot feel the warmth of the sun on my face, or feel the biting cold of winter. I cannot savor good food or drink, or feel a lover's caress." He glanced over at Snape and Remus, who were still locked in an ardent embrace and kiss.

"I warned you that this was how it was going to be," Death said quietly.

"I know," Nick replied. "I didn't truly understand what that meant at the time, but I do now."

"Please, Death," Sirius begged. "Can't you let him come with us? I nearly went crazy being in Limbo for two years; I can't imagine what it would be like to live as a ghost for hundreds of years!"

"All you ever had to do was ask," Death said, smiling at Nick kindly as she held out her hand. "Give me your hand, Sir Nicholas." She extended her other hand to Sirius and added, "And give me yours, Sirius Black."

Sirius placed his hand in hers as Nick did likewise. One would expect Death's hand to feel cold to the touch, but instead it felt warm and comforting. "Before we go, could I ask one last favor?" he said, and whispered something into her ear.

She nodded and said, "I'll take care of it. All right; are you ready, boys?" Without waiting for a reply, she stepped sideways into a doorway of golden light that had suddenly opened out of nowhere; none of the teachers and students seemed to notice, except perhaps Luna, who was gazing in their direction with a look of awe on her face.

They emerged in a meadow, and Sirius savored the warmth of the sunlight and the scent of flowers in the air, and the thick grass beneath his feet that cushioned his steps. Incidentally, he noticed that he was wearing his normal clothes again, but the idea of the fairy godmother costume no longer bothered him so much. He even thought that he might miss the wings. Beside him, Nick was no longer transparent and nearly headless, but was whole and human and solid, and tears filled his eyes as he whispered, "There was never anything to fear, was there?"

Sirius was about to reply when he saw two familiar figures heading towards them. "Prongs?" he gasped. "Lily?"

"Hey, Padfoot!" James said cheerily. "Who's your friend?"

"Why, it's Sir Nick!" Lily exclaimed. "I never thought I'd see you here!"

"So what took you so long?" James asked as he hugged Sirius.

Sirius grinned and replied, "I had some unfinished business to take care of."

"Well, you'll have to tell us all about it!" James laughed.

"It's a long story," Sirius warned.

"That's all right," Lily said with a smile. "We have all the time in the world."

***

Back at Hogwarts, after all the commotion had died down, Severus and Lupin lingered behind on the set after everyone else had left the Great Hall. It was a warm summer evening, and Remus had taken off his heavy outer robe. Beneath them he was wearing a white silk shirt, a green velvet vest that matched his robe, fawn-colored breeches that fit him like a second skin, and brown leather boots.

Severus couldn't help but notice that the breeches showed off the werewolf's arse to very nice effect. He was glad that Lupin had kept the robe on until they were alone, though. He didn't want anyone ogling Lupin's arse but himself.

"Like what you see?" Lupin asked with a knowing smirk, and Severus blushed. He hadn't realized that he'd been so obvious about the ogling.

"You know I do, Lupin," Snape replied gruffly. "I wouldn't have agreed to marry you if I didn't."

The werewolf smiled wistfully at Severus. "That makes me very happy, but since we're to be married soon...do you think that maybe you could start calling me by my first name?"

"I'll try, Remus," Severus promised. "It takes time to break such an old and familiar habit, though. I might slip up every now and then."

"Well then, maybe I should give you a little incentive," Lupin--no, Remus--purred. "How about if I kiss you every time that you call me 'Remus'?"

"Remus?" Severus said experimentally, and Lupin--Remus--leaned over and gave him a long, lingering kiss. "Yes, I think that will be very effective," he gasped when they came back up for air. "It might prove a little inconvenient when I'm conversing with you during mealtimes in the Great Hall, though."

"I don't have a problem with it," Remus said with a grin. "I've promised not to hide my love for you anymore, after all."

"As teachers, we have a certain example to set for our students, Remus," Severus said sternly.

Remus gave him another kiss, then said, "Well, if you insist, I will try to restrain myself in front of our impressionable young students. But I shall have to kiss you twice as much when we're alone to make up for it."

"That sounds reasonable," Severus agreed. "And by the way, in case you haven't noticed, we're alone right now...Remus."

They kissed several more times, although Severus had only said Remus's name once--not that he had any complaints about it. Afterwards, Remus rested his head on Severus's shoulder and sighed, "I'm so happy, Severus. This really does feel like a fairy tale come true."

"With Sirius bloody Black playing fairy godmother," Severus chuckled.

"What?" Remus asked, lifting his head off Severus's shoulder with a start.

"Oh, it's just this silly dream I had," Severus replied dismissively. "Sirius Black appeared in it as a fairy godmother and said he was going to get us back together. It was the night that the house-elves made that awful curry for dinner, so it was probably just food poisoning."

"But I had the same dream, too!" Remus exclaimed.

"On curry night?" Severus asked, and Remus nodded.

"But I also dreamed about him last night, too."

"Me too," Severus reluctantly admitted. "But it's probably because I was nervous about the performance, and he was on my mind because of the first dream."

"But there were those mysterious costume changes," Remus pointed out. "You don't suppose...?"

They stared at each other for a moment, then laughed and shook their heads. "No, it must've been the curry," they said in chorus.

***

The students, once they got over their shock, were mostly pleased for their professors, and if not, at least they were happy that they would get a holiday on the day of the wedding. The Gryffindors were a bit sad that Nearly Headless Nick had disappeared, though. Dumbledore tried to assure them that he had moved on "to the next great adventure," and Luna solemnly told them that Nick wouldn't be lonely because Stubby Boardman was with him.

Severus and Remus were married two weeks later in the Great Hall in front of all the students and faculty, and a few invited guests. As promised, Tonks served as Remus's "best man," and since she brought Kingsley Shacklebolt as her date, Severus decided not to hex her. Harry also stood as Remus's groomsman, although he still seemed a little bewildered by the whole thing. To his credit, he sincerely congratulated Remus, and timidly wished Severus well.

Fawkes sang the wedding march, Dumbledore conducted the ceremony, and somewhat to Severus's surprise, McGonagall and Sinistra had volunteered to stand as his attendants. "Good luck," Sinistra whispered with a sly wink, and McGonagall kissed him on the cheek and said, "You're both overdue for some happiness, Severus. I wish you a long and happy life together."

The costumes made by their mysterious benefactor now held sentimental value for them, so they wore them at the wedding, and this time, Severus had no objections to dancing with Remus at the reception.

Later, when they opened their wedding gifts, they discovered a huge box filled with what seemed like a lifetime supply of lavender-scented fairy-enhanced shampoo. All the gift tag said was "from your Fairy Godfather".

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the story based on karasu_hime's artwork of Snape and Lupin dressed up in princely-looking clothing (as described in the final scene of the play in Chapter 5), along with a grumpy-looking Sirius with fairy wings, a little tiara, and a star-topped wand. Unfortunately, the link to that lovely piece of art no longer works, but that was the inspiration behind the story.
> 
> When I was thinking about what to write for this piece, I got the idea of a dead Sirius being forced to get Lupin and Snape back together, then realized that the plot sounded sort of familiar, and I remembered a wonderful story I read on the Master and Wolf archive, where Sirius's spirit enlists Luna's help to play matchmaker for Snape and Lupin. So it wasn't intentional, but in the interests of disclosure, I should say that I might have gotten the inspiration for the basic plot from Em Conway's [Through Her Eyes.](http://www.masterandthewolf.com/masterandthewolf/stories/throughhereyes.html) It is a great story, and you should check it out if you haven't already!
> 
> Readers of my Always series will notice that I borrowed the idea of a male Cinderella named Ash from [Ash's Story](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3155600), which focuses on one of my werewolf OCs. I wanted to give poor Snape a little bit of dignity! (But not too much!)
> 
> I was having some trouble with the middle section, when Sirius arrives at Hogwarts, but it started flowing nicely once I brought in Nick. He wasn't really essential to the plot, but it helped to give Sirius a foil to bounce ideas off of, so he wasn't always talking to himself. And I've felt sorry for Nick ever since reading Book 5; I thought he ought to have the chance to move on if he really regretted his decision to become a ghost.


End file.
